100 YEARS OLD AND STILL HUNTING THE UNHUNTABLE...

LEWIS Carroll’s epic Hunting Of The Snark will soon be staged at London’s Vaudeville Theatre. So here’s The Hunting Of The Brexit: “Just the time for a Brexit,” the May

Queen cried, As she proudly selected her crew, And closing her eyes at the start of the

ride She said “I’ll have you, you and you”. ’Twas Boris and David and Phil whom

she chose To steer the ship over the rocks, Negotiate terms with traditional foes, With the cunning and guile of a fox. Then Boris said something and Dave

disagreed, But Phil had a different idea, The May Queen then said “I know just

what we need To make this kerfuffle quite clear. “In order to set a firm path for this

boat, Of which I’m the captain you know, I think the whole crew should be given

a vote, To confirm that I’m running the show.” The crew were perplexed by this

curious act, And didn’t behave as expected. Some thought that the May Queen

should even be sacked, And certainly not re-elected. The May Queen however, ploughed on

with her plan, Her doggedness grew even bigger, “I’ll capture the Brexit,” she vowed, “if

I can, That why I enacted the trigger.” “We don’t understand though,” said

David and Phil, “Quite why you chose Article 50. The 49 others don’t charge such a bill. Your choice doesn’t seem very nifty.” But Boris then, straining each sinew

and joint And showing his mettle and gristle, Said, “These foreign Johnnies we must

disappoint, Say ‘Allez-vous en!’ and ‘Go whistle’. “But by the way, May Queen, you’ve

never explained What Brexit this is we’re pursuing? Our mission to catch it becomes rather

strained If none of us know what we’re doing.” “A Brexit’s a Brexit, I’ve said it before That statement requires no apology,” The May Queen asserted but Boris said, “Your reply is no more than tautology.” But then through the letter box

clattered a bill For one trillion euros from Brussels. And Boris looked daggers as though he

could kill; He whistled while rippling his muscles. Then came a correction from Brussels

to say, “Not trillion, that’s too many noughts,” “Just one hundred billion is what you

must pay To regain control of your ports.” The moral of this isn’t hard to explain: If you want to negotiate Brexit, Smile sweetly at Pole, German,

Frenchman or Dane And if you have a muscle go flex it.