100 YEARS OLD AND STILL EDUCATING THE WORLD...
THE Summer School at St Opposite’s School for the Leftward Leaning, to which they extended invitations not only to St Tory’s Academy for the Fiscally Gifted but to other leading schools around the world, has not been a success. In fact, several outbreaks of fighting in the playground have led to the abandonment of the 2017 venture which was supposed to promote peace and harmony.
Problems started when Donald, head boy at the All-American College in Washington, threatened to thump Kim, head boy at Pyongyang People’s Primary. Kim then said he’d thump Donald back harder and Donald said that he’d thump Kim so hard that he wouldn’t be able to thump anybody.
The United Schools Committee had to intervene and told Kim that his pocket money would be stopped if he used it to buy boxing gloves or knuckle dusters of mass thumping potential.
Kim said that wasn’t fair and they should stop Donald’s pocket money too but Donald said he didn’t need pocket money because he was so rich.
The committee then said that they also took a rather dim view of the way a boy called Nicolás from Caracas was behaving and they thought he might be even worse than Hugo, who had enraged attendees at earlier camps and they were sure everyone would agree that he shouldn’t be so nasty.
Jeremy, head boy at St Opposite’s then said Nicolás was a friend of his and everyone should stop being so nasty to him and he wasn’t being any more nasty than they were and anyway he didn’t like nastiness whoever did it.
While all this was going on, a scream was heard from another corner of the playground and Theresa, head girl at St Tory’s, burst into tears when Manny, head boy at St Hunchback’s of Notre Dame, Paris, told her that she owed him £36billion at least and he wasn’t going to let her go until she’d paid it.
Meanwhile, there had been problems at the Summer School’s sports day too when the boy’s sprint had been won by Justin who had previously been caught cheating. Justin admitted that he had once, or twice to be more accurate, been a cheat, but that was all in the past, but Sebastian, who had once been a runner himself but was now on the committee, said he thought Justin should have been expelled for ever and ever when he was caught cheating.
Kim then sidled up to Justin and asked if he had anything to do with Gatling guns because he would like to buy some and could offer top dollar, or at least top North Korean Won.
Justin, misunderstanding, said that North Korea didn’t win, he did, and Kim said Justin was a typical belligerent Yankee and he’d better watch out.
Donald then joined in and told Kim that they’d be calling it the North Korean Lost by the time he’d finished with them and the committee told them all to stop being so belligerent towards each other.
Donald, Kim, Justin, Jeremy, Nicolás, Theresa and Manny all then said that they didn’t get where they are today by not being belligerent and that’s when the Peace and Harmony School was abandoned for this year.