Non-stop moans of my holiday ‘Meldrew’
A WIFE holidaying on a Mediterranean island found her hopes of the perfect sunshine break dashed... by the bad mood of her husband.
The sun shone, the sand on the beach was golden, cocktails awaited as night fell.
Yet to her consternation her husband morphed into TV grump Victor Meldrew – famed for his groaning catchphrase “I don’t believe it!” – the moment he stepped off the plane.
Writing on website Mumsnet in the middle of her stay on the unnamed paradise island, the 45-year-old, using the pen name Nettle The Elf, shared her frustration at her “whingeing” 52-year-old husband.
She said his complaints included the weather being too hot, the beach being too sandy, a mountain gorge “too stony” and foreign chocolate being not a patch on British.
A World Heritage Site was “a bit boring” and “a load of stones”, while he did not like “being told things” by the expert tour guide.
What made it worse was that he had chosen the resort himself. Pleading for support on the popular parenting website, she wrote: “I seem to have found myself on holiday with Victor Meldrew. Tell me that I’m not the only one?
“Do they all turn into whingeing ******** ? I always thought DH (Darling Husband) compared well. He doesn’t.”
Other users rushed to reassure her with tales of family holidays ruined by incessant moaning.
Lucille Bluth said: “Yup. Miserable. Just returned from Greece. Can’t possibly have a glass of wine until after eating.
Grumpy
“Spent the week saying ‘my back is sore’. Will not choose a restaurant but complains when I do.”
Another called her husband: “A miserable **** at the best of times, has taken it to Olympic standards this holiday. I could throttle the grumpy little ******* .” Not only husbands caused trouble. Babycham Socialist said her mother complained there was no lift at the Spanish Steps in Rome. Another poster’s friend asked the taxi driver what the shops were like at Pompeii, the city buried beneath volcanic ash 2,000 years ago.
Some took drastic steps. Highly Competent Ex Wife said :“I am cheering myself for divorcing the husband in time for the holiday season.”
MCamp10 came up with tongue-incheek suggestions for being the perfect wife, including “staying awake all night sponging him down with cool water and peeling his grapes”.
But danTDM spoke up for men sweltering in the heatwave currently gripping southern Europe
“You have a tricky husband, but it is bloody hot at the moment,” he wrote. “If he was expecting 27C he got 47C (116F). It’s hideous.”
And Lolabee said: “The chocolate is a perfectly reasonable complaint. A lot of foreign stuff is well……pants.”
Finally, I Finished The Biscuits confessed that women can be grumps too. “This is me and my DH. Except I’m the miserable one,” she wrote.