SECRET WORLD OF THE SEX FESTIVAL
Outrage from the residents of Tunbridge Wells has been followed by tragedy at this year’s controversial Flamefest event with police investigating a man’s untimely death
IT WAS billed as “a festival for kinky, quirky, creative hedonists”, aiming to bring together “the purest, most hedonistic elements of the party scene”, to promote “kink to the foreground of festival culture”.
But if this year’s controversial Flamefest sex festival in Brokes Wood near Tunbridge Wells ended in tragedy on Monday, as a man was found dead and a woman airlifted to hospital unconscious, it has also shone a light on a previously hidden section of British society that is emerging from the shadows and into the mainstream.
To most, the idea of a sex party conjures up images of seedy Soho basements, or of wifeswappers throwing their car keys into a bowl in 1970s suburbia. But in recent years swinging has grown into a serious leisure pursuit, so much so that practitioners even refer to it simply as “the lifestyle”. And far from being the preserve of shifty old men and the stereotypical bored housewife, those indulging in sex parties are increasingly young, affluent, middle-class professionals.
Flamefest may have grabbed the headlines but it is by no means the only sex festival in this country: Swingfields, which describes itself as “the original and biggest independent lifestyle event of the year” has been operating since 2013 and boasts up to 500 people attending at a time. Earlybird tickets are already on sale for next year’s event: a “three-day single gentleman” ticket will set you back a cool £170, a 10-person “party tent” a snip at £725.
London’s Torture Garden boasts that it is the world’s largest fetish club, hosting regular parties at venues across the city and with as many as 2,500 attendees, including celebrities such as fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier. And Passion Elite Parties claim to offer “sexual experiences in high-class venues for individuals who have a flair for sexual adventure”. Their next event is a “Millionaires Cocktail Party” in October, to be held at a secret venue “set in its own extensive grounds” where guests can enjoy “lots of different playrooms and a large hot tub”, as well as “exquisite canapes and entertainment throughout the evening”.
Both of these clubs are listed on the online directory Swinging Heaven — along with another 80 active swingers clubs and events in the UK alone, based in places as diverse as Blackpool, Gloucester and Windsor. Alongside the listings are customer ratings: a club called Chameleons in the West Midlands has no fewer than 425 reviews from satisfied swingers.
But if some of these venues do cater more to the “seedy Soho basement” punter than to the kind of person who might enjoy an exquisite canape along with their wife-swapping, there are a growing number of sex party providers who are aimed firmly at the middle classes.
According to Passion Elite, “orgies and sex parties are becoming increasingly acceptable in today’s society. Young professionals who are career focused, don’t have time for relationships but still need to fulfil their sexual desires. They go to sex parties where they can meet other singles, relax, have fun and forget about the daily stresses of life.”
Many of these sex parties are strict about who they will let in. Fever Parties claims to be “the first swingers’ organisation to select by looks and apply an upper age limit. Nobody had provided a swinging environment that appealed to graduate 20-somethings before.”
Only single women and “attractive couples” under 40 are allowed, and entrance to one of their champagne-fuelled private events is dependent on having your photograph approved first.
At London’s Club Hermione, held every month in “private, exclusive and classy” venues across the capital, male guests are required to wear suits; and Killing Kittens’ upmarket orgies claim to be the “network for the sexual elite”. Men have to be invited to become members and all are screened before being allowed to join. Now boasting more than 40,000 members, each paying up to £200 a month, it also has the distinction of being run by Emma Sayle, a former schoolfriend of Kate Middleton. The 39-year-old started the sex club in 2005 after some time working at Fever Parties.
SAYLE also claims that her events, far from catering to dirty old men, actually empower women: “It’s a woman going, ‘We can be promiscuous because we are choosing to do it’ – it’s them exploring their sexuality,” she says. But despite the champagne and canapes, high membership fees and talk of empowerment, the stigma of the sex party as the preserve of perverts remains. Although those attending Flamefest paid up to £600 for their tickets, the mood among local residents before Monday’s tragic events was hardly enthusiastic.
“I’m disgusted,” said Nasir Jamil, one of the town’s Conservative councillors. “I don’t mind people enjoying themselves but not when you have these indecent elements. I have a five-yearold daughter at home. What am I supposed to tell her when she asks what’s going on?”