I ought to take of­fence but who can be both­ered?

Daily Express - - NEWS -

MY first grand­child has ar­rived. Would you like to see a pic­ture? I’ve got plenty if you have an hour or two to spare. She is al­ready a great beauty and shows signs of ge­nius. We’re all agreed on that.

She was born by C-sec­tion which wasn’t part of the plan but it’s all turned out hap­pily so thank you to the won­der­ful hos­pi­tal staff. By rights, af­ter such an emo­tional few days, I should be deeply of­fended by Kate Hudson. An­swer­ing one of those celebrity ques­tion­naires in Cos­mopoli­tan which asked “What’s the lazi­est thing you’ve ever done?, the ac­tress an­swered “Have a C-sec­tion”.

Big mis­take. You can imag­ine all the witches on so­cial me­dia tak­ing her to task for dar­ing to make a joke about such a se­ri­ous mat­ter. Well, I did my damnedest to be deeply of­fended on my daugh­ter-in-law’s be­half but, sorry, it’s not hap­pen­ing. It was a joke, and even if it wasn’t why should I care what some­one I don’t know thinks about any­thing?

I have too many im­por­tant granny du­ties to per­form to give a hoot… It’s New York Fashion Week! It’s the Michael Kors show! I don’t know why Ni­cole Kid­man has Naomi Watts in a head lock. Keep smil­ing Naomi. She’ll put you down in a mo­ment. NEW fan­gled fu­sion cook­ing can’t com­pete with old favourite com­fort foods such as prawn cock­tail, spag bol and chicken Kiev says a sur­vey by the BBC Good Food Guide. The top-rated pud­ding is tri­fle which ap­pears in 45 per cent of homes at least once a year.

Hon­estly, is there any­one who can re­sist tri­fle? Those lay­ers of soaked sponge, wob­bling jelly, tart fruit frag­ments, sweet sloppy silky cus­tard and cream whipped light as air. Glacé cher­ries on top, hun­dreds and thou­sands – the full works. One of the great­est pleasures in the world has to be left­over tri­fle for break­fast. Yet I can’t re­mem­ber the last time any­one made this supreme pud in a TV cook­ery pro­gramme.

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