BEACHCOMBER
100 YEARS OLD AND STILL ENJOYING THE RAIN...
OTO BE in Bristol Now the rains are there. And whoever walks in Bristol Will be taken unaware By an unexpected brolly sheath On a bus or train or a windswept heath, Ripped off by its owner’s hands or teeth To reveal an umbrella underneath, Then dropped, quick as muscles and time allow, In Bristol – Now!
Yes, the wonders of the world’s only Umbrella Cover Museum are now in the UK, for the first time outside their usual home in Peaks Island, Maine, (which incidentally is the only US State whose name has only one syllable) and for this momentous occasion the city of Bristol has been chosen for two main reasons: first, it rains a lot in the UK, so the British probably appreciate umbrellas and their covers more than most; and second, the Centrespace Gallery at 6 Leonard Lane, Bristol BS1 1EA (phone 0117 929 1234) satisfied all the rigorous criteria demanded of an umbrella cover exhibition.
The museum is curated by its founder, Nancy 3. Hoffman, who is a thoroughly admirable thing apart from her passion for playing the accordion and her middle name. This began many years ago when she mistyped her middle initial as “3” then liked it so much that she decided to stick with it.
I have, on more than one occasion, tried to explain to her that one only puts a dot after an initial to indicated that it is short for something else. So “3.” would be quite correct if the 3 were short for 3.14159, for example, but if her middle name is just “3”, as seems to be her intention, there should be no dot. Unless it is designed to be part of a web address, of course.
When the future US President Harry Truman was born in 1884, his parents could not decide between Shippe and Solomon, which were the names of his grandfathers, for his middle name. So he was just given an S between the Harry and the Truman which stands for neither specifically so should therefore have no dot. As I said, I have tried to explain this to Ms Hoffman but she persists in her own dottiness.
She also persists in collecting umbrella covers for the museum which she founded in 1996. In 2012, it was rewarded with the accolade “World’s biggest collection of umbrella covers” by Guinness World Records when there were 730 in the collection. Now it has grown to more than 1,300, donated to the museum from 65 countries.
The museum is, in Nancy’s own words, “dedicated to the appreciation of the mundane in everyday life,” and she clearly believes that there can hardly be anything more mundane than an umbrella cover. Having no function other than to protect something which gets rained on as soon as it is put into use, the much derided umbrella cover is indeed an object that deserves greater appreciation.
The exhibition in Bristol continues until Wednesday September 27. Do drop in, even if it’s not raining. But be prepared: you may catch Nancy playing Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella on the accordion.