100 YEARS OLD AND STILL SEWING HIS OWN FIG LEAVES...

HISTORIC allegations of sexual impropriety and abuse of power have continued to appear in the world of film, theatre and politics, but none can match the farreaching effects of the latest claims made by a man named only as ‘ Adam’ who blames a powerful woman for destroying his career and his life.

According to Adam, the incident was long ago. He cannot recall the precise date but says it was “not long after the creation” of the enterprise he jointly ran with the woman concerned.

“Eve was clearly attracted to me,” he says, “and spent much time in my company, but we weren’t married, so I kept my distance until that fateful day when she suggested going for a walk together in the garden.

“We hadn’t gone far, when she suddenly stopped and started talking to a snake.” I was terrified, and when she suddenly threw a piece of fruit at me and told me to take a bite, I didn’t know what to do. As I said, I’d kept my distance, so didn’t hear what she and the snake were saying and I was really frightened what they might do if I didn’t eat the fruit, so I took a bite.

“I don’t know what was in it, but the next thing I remember was looking down and seeing that she and I were both naked. Then I heard the landlord coming down the path, so I rapidly sewed some fig leaves together and told Eve to do the same so that we could cover our rude bits.

“When the landlord arrived, I played dumb, but he clearly saw the fruit pips on the grass and firmly told us that eating that fruit was against the tenancy agreement, and the next thing we knew, the bailiffs arrived, threw us out, dismissed me from the business and closed down the company.”

When asked about his later relationship with the woman called Eve, Adam freely admitted that they had continued living together and she had borne him several children, even though they were not married. “Despite everything she did, I felt sorry for her,” he said. “Neither of us had anywhere to live or anyone else we could rely on, so we made the best of it. But it was all her fault.”

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Ex- Eden, Eve completely denied Adam’s version of the events. “My fault?” she said. “All I did was share some fruit with the wretched man. I didn’t know anything about a tenancy agreement. I wasn’t even there when he signed it. Anyway, he has always claimed that I was made out of one of his ribs, which means I’m saddled with his genes and am a clone of him, so any supposed fault in my make- up is due entirely to him.

“It’s his fault that the entire family has grown up dysfunctional. What sort of parenting skills does it show if one of your sons grows up and kills his brother? It would never have happened if Adam hadn’t broken the tenancy agreement and got us thrown out of our nice home.”

Adam, however, insists that Eve was in full knowledge of the contents of the tenancy agreement, including the section on public nakedness, forbidden fruits, and misuse of fig leaves. The snake was not available for comment.