A winter Wonder-land
THERE are lots of hair triggers at this time of year. In households across the country the merest, quietest mention of the words ‘properly’ and ‘defrosted’ can start family Armaggedon. The same goes for that guest who every year moans about the quality of the jokes in the Christmas crackers. Repeats on the telly tend to set a lot of folk off too. Bearing this in mind, 300 YEARS OF FRENCH AND SAUNDERS (BBC1, Christmas Day) was either very daring or taking the mickey.
It was not just a load of old clips, there was a light shower of modern material – including Dawn as the real Wonder Woman, complaining they had not consulted her for the new film and a certain reality TV dynasty reimagined as The Karcrashians. But you did wonder whether the new material should have been left out in favour of the old favourites, or vice-versa. Neither seemed all that funny.
There is always a risk that each Christmas episode of CALL THE MIDWIFE (BBC1, Christmas Day) will feel a bit unsurprising given we know well in advance that it will include newborn babies, a nativity play and a lot of snow. This year, though, they surprised us by kicking off the action long after the last cracker had been pulled, at the start of the Big Freeze of 1962. Amid the blizzards, a seemingly sweet old gent lost his way and froze to death but when Sister Julienne (Jenny Agutter) went to tell the man’s wife, the news was greeted with rejoicing.
In the anonymous spaces of Poplar’s new concrete tower blocks, Mrs Tillerson (Anita Dobson) had been a virtual prisoner of her abusive, controlling husband and discovering the old man had died a cold, lonely death amounted to tidings of comfort and joy. Not exactly a cockle-warming story but the world does not just turn nice for Christmas. We were reminded of that, too, in the long-awaited regeneration episode of DOCTOR WHO (BBC1, Christmas Day), although hoping for more than a glimpse of new Tardis-occupant Jodie Whittaker was like hoping that somewhere there might be a shop selling batteries open. Touching on that famous Christmas Day football match in the trenches, most of the episode involved two Doctors from different eras bickering like in-laws on the sofa.
David Bradley – doing a very good number as William Hartnell’s original Doctor – thought Peter Capaldi’s Doctor was an arrogant young cove, disliked what he had done to the Tardis and dismissed the sonic screwdriver as a ‘toy’. The old Doc also received a number of rebukes for his old-fashioned, sexist attitudes, although the sharpest one – probably – was being regenerated as a lady. On the other side, VICTORIA (ITV) and her consort were, like many married couples on Christmas Day, getting on each other’s nerves. Victoria had received a little girl as a tribute from a West African chieftain and decided to adopt her. Albert disapproved and concentrated on filling the palace with fir trees in a bid to give the family a proper, German Christmas. Relations got ever frostier, until Prince Albert broke the ice, literally, by almost drowning in a freak skating accident and having to be rescued by Her Majesty, his Missus.
The only off-note in all this seasonal TV fare was the GREAT CHRISTMAS BAKE OFF (Ch4, Christmas Day). By 7.30pm, was there anyone left in Britain who wanted to see the inside of a kitchen or hear the word cake?