All animals pong and have open-air sex, farmer warns moaning townies

A FARMER fed up with complaints about his animals has put up a hilarious sign warning incomers: “They smell bad and have sex outdoors.”

Stephen Nolan, 48, issued the tongue-in-cheek alert after four years of moans about his hens, planning wrangles over his giant Shire and Clydesdale horses and other problems.

The notice, aimed at “townies” who want to move to the countryside for a peaceful life but then whinge about its noises and whiffs, says: “This property is a farm. Farms have animals! Animals make funny sounds, smell bad and have sex outdoors.

“Unless you can tolerate the above, don’t buy a property next to a farm.”

Father-of-two Stephen, of Laneside Farm in Higher Wheelton, Lancs, said: “I find it baffling that people choose to live in the country then expect there not to be animals.”

The last straw came when a neighbour opposed planning permission for new stables for the rare horse breeds and even threatened to take the local council to court.

But Stephen, who with 46-year-old wife Anne also keeps pigs, geese and restores old VW Camper Vans, said: “Our family has been here since before the war so we are not going to move.”

Like-minded locals who support Stephen’s viewpoint have shared his sign on social media, hailing it as “brilliant”.