Speaking out is the only way to confront stigma about bipolar
SHEA WONG, who was diagnosed in her 20s, says she hopes Mariah Carey’s honesty about the condition will inspire other women to open up
LAST week legendary pop star Mariah Carey made headlines around the world when she revealed she had bipolar disorder, saying she had been living “in denial and isolation” with the condition for 17 years.
In her brave admission the singer, 48, said: “I lived in constant fear someone would expose me. It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn’t do that any more.”
She follows Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, 48, who was diagnosed with bipolar in 2011.
There is still a lot of stigma attached to bipolar, which is believed to affect between one and two per cent of the UK population, and mental health charities have praised Mariah’s decision to open up about the condition.
Someone who knows just how brave it was for Mariah to tell the world is Shea Wong, who was diagnosed when she was 28.
“When my doctor told me I had bipolar II, which is the same type as Mariah, it felt like a death sentence,” says Shea, now 42.
A communications manager, Shea lives in west London with her husband Andrew, 45, an IT consultant, and their son Ben, eight.
At the time of her bipolar diagnosis American-born Shea was living in rural Ohio and working as an arts teacher. She first noticed something was wrong in her early 20s.
“I would stay awake for 36 hours, then sleep for 24. I’d have visual hallucinations from sleep deprivation,” she says.
“I’d experience wild mood swings. I would do things like shave my head in the middle of the night, then regret it in the morning.”
However for a long time Shea did not know what the problem was. “At the time I put it down to being in my 20s. Looking back I was clearly in denial but when you’re scared of the truth or being found out you rationalise your behaviour.”
Eventually she took a list of her symptoms to her GP, who told her she had bipolar disorder (known historically as manic depression).
“I was devastated. I saw it as a terminal illness. It took a lot of research on my part to realise that while I will die with bipolar, I won’t die from it.”
SHEA has always been open with family and colleagues about the condition. She met Andrew 10 years ago and told him about her diagnosis early on in their relationship. “I met Andrew just as I was making peace with my illness and told him about it as soon as I knew I liked him.
“I told him if he couldn’t handle it, that was OK. I thought he might walk away but a couple of days later he came to me and told me he was fine. I was over the moon.”
Shea takes medication to stabilise her mood and has regular cognitive behavioural therapy sessions. She says she understands why Mariah kept her diagnosis a secret for so long.
“There is a stigma to bipolar, people think you’re ‘crazy’ because they don’t know any better. I think people keep quiet because they fear being judged, ostracised and ridiculed.”
Because bipolar is an invisible illness, Shea says it can be a difficult condition for people to understand.
“I don’t have a crutch or cast or a physical injury you can see. Until you go through it you don’t quite get it. Everyone has variations in their mood but my high and low moods are extreme. Bipolar doesn’t go away, I will always deal with symptoms.
“I explain to people that I check myself in the same way someone suffering from diabetes would. Am I feeling hypomanic? Am I having a down moment?”
Shea believes that a mental health diagnosis can be especially difficult for women.
“As women we’re already called too emotional, too flighty. When you put mental illness on top of that you become a target, which is a massive fear for women with bipolar.” When men come out and say they have a mental illness it is, of course very courageous but you never hear, ‘he’s crazy’.
“Whereas when women are talked about we are described in emotional terms and are often referred to as hysterical.
“That upsets me because it’s the same neurons misfiring in both men and women. There needs to be more equality.”
The key, says Shea, is for women to speak out about the condition. “Things need to change and to do that we need to talk. People are terrified of being ‘outed’ so they suffer in silence.
“But as more people start to talk about mental health the stigma surrounding it will disappear.” Shea hopes that Mariah talking about her experiences with bipolar will encourage other people to get help when they need it.
“If there is a fan of hers who was not feeling 100 per cent they might now talk to friends or go to their doctor,” says Shea. “Mariah is a real role model and has used her stardom for greatness.”
Yet Shea hopes some day a celebrity revealing a bipolar diagnosis won’t be global news.
“The day it isn’t a big deal will be the greatest day of my life,” she adds. “Life is better without stigma and living openly with this illness is so much better than living with fear.”