101 YEARS OLD AND STILL WAITING FOR A TRAIN...
HAVE you ever wondered how great adventure stories of the past would fare under modern train cancellations and privacy laws? This Canterbury Tales update reveals all. ‘Twas in the month of May our tale
began With passengers who had a simple plan To ride to Canterbury on a train, To see the town and then come home
again. To make best use of time, they set off
early: A knight, a squire, a prioress named
Shirley, A nun the spitting image of Liz Hurley, A high court judge with wig absurdly
curly, A monk, a parson, publisher and friar, A haberdasher, writer, cook and dyer. All eagerly they gathered, bright and
merry In time to catch the train to
Canterbury. Their mood, however, turned to
desolation, To hear the train had suffered
cancellation. A voice boomed out with bold
amplification: “We fear delays of quite unknown
duration Are due to bringing in a new timetable. Your train will come as soon as we are
able.” The travellers exuded total gloom And moaned together in the waiting
room. The nun then rose and said: “Do stop
your wails, Let’s all cheer up by sharing stirring
tales.” The knight went first, with tales from
ancient Greece, The judge came next with stories of
caprice, The raunchiest of which involved his
niece, A girl of spirit, if somewhat obese. Then came the squire, the parson and
the cook. “I say, these tales would make a super
book,” The writer then opined in tone quite
shrill. “I’ll write them down,” he said, “with
sharpened quill.” The publisher agreed: “They pack a
thrill. They’ll make us rich or I’m not Caxton,
Will.” The writer spilt his coffee in his saucer, And told the throng his name was
Geoffrey Chaucer. The judge though said, “I fear you go
too far, Your plans will break the law: GDPR.” “What’s that?” asked Geoff and Will,
and what’s your grudge? “You can’t share private data,” ruled
the judge. “Those stories cannot leave this
cafeteria Or both of you will break the law’s
criteria.” There’s copyright and libel, you’d be
sued, For publishing such slanderous tales so
lewd.” And so these tales of lechery and lust And violence and fury bit the dust.
THE END.