101 YEARS OLD AND STILL MOLLIFYING MARSUPIALS...

GOOD news! A team of scientists at the University of Sydney, Australia have completed the world’s first full sequencing of the koala genome.

My younger readers may not appreciate the significance of this great advance but I, and I am sure many of the world’s koalas, have been waiting for this for 22 years and it finally offers relief for something that has worried us since 1996.

In that year, Maciej Henneberg, a forensic scientist at the University of Adelaide made a vital discovery at a wildlife park while handling koalas: their fingerprints, he found, were indistinguishable from those of human beings.

“Although it’s extremely unlikely that koala prints would be found at the scene of a crime,” he was quoted as saying, “police should at least be aware of the possibility.”

The koala community, as I am sure you will understand, were thrown into panic by the announcement. The prospect of being picked up by the police on suspicion of some crime or other on the basis of fingerprint evidence suddenly loomed large in their nightmares.

The sequencing of the genome, however, now means that any koala suspected of a crime has a high chance of exonerating itself by appealing to DNA evidence to confirm that it was not present at the crime scene.

I rushed to London Zoo to share the good news with a koala or two but was disappointed to find that they did not have any. A pair came to Regent’s Park from San Diego Zoo in 1989 but the male died in 1992 and the female was then sent to join a group of koalas in Portugal. This was done allegedly because she was lonely but I strongly suspect she was unfairly deported on a European arrest warrant based on fingerprint evidence.

If my suspicions are correct, a DNA sample could have cleared it all up and the London koalas or their descendants might still be with us.

Just as I was wondering whether a trip might be worthwhile to Edinburgh Zoo, where I believe they do have koalas, the phone rang and a young lady asked whether I was interested in animal emergencies.

“Not only am I interested,” I said, “but I am in the middle of one myself.”

“I am not surprised,” she said, “for according to research by the outsourced communications provider Moneypenny, more emergency calls to veterinary practices were made last year on the first Monday in July than on any other day of the year.”

“Did any of those calls involve the threat of criminal proceedings being taken against koalas on the basic of fingerprint evidence?” I asked.

My question was met by a long pause from the other end of the line. Then she said, “I’d have to get back to you on that one.”

“No need to hurry,” I said, “for the problem is now under control. They’ve sequenced the koala’s DNA you know. Do let your vets know this in case they are deluged with calls about suspect koalas.” She thanked me for the news but has not yet got back to me.