WHERE THE NATIONAL PASTIME IS STAGING A COUP

IT LOOKS as if the Comoros are heading towards another coup. (Do I imagine the toast dropping from your nerveless fingers? Probably not.)

Anyway, they are a tiny three-island archipelago in the Mozambique Channel, Africa’s east coast, Indian Ocean. Yes, that one. Since independence from France in 1975 they have had 20 coups or attempted coups, which even in Africa holds the record.

The second was an invasion led by French mercenary Bob Denard (now departed to Elysian firefights) on the orders of Paris to reverse the first coup when a communist toppled the French puppet.

The white mercenaries did the job in half a morning, and put the puppet back on the throne. Since then the three mini-islands (the fourth stayed French and prospered) have lapsed into perpetual impoverishment and maladministration. Denard’s men were new to this sort of thing so as they ran up the beach they kept referring to their copies of “Les Chiens De Guerre” – the French version of my own Dogs Of War – to find out what they were supposed to do next. While flattered to be regarded as a manual writer for coups d’état, I still turned down flat Denard’s request that I ghostwrite his biography.

For years the three islands have swapped president on a Buggins’-turn basis and kept the peace. Now the dictator on the main island wants to extend his rule for a decade and the other two are threatening to invade. Holiday bookings, anyone?