I was drenched in dread ... all I knew was doom

EXTRACTS from the blog written by Adele’s friend Laura Dockrill reveal the misery of postpartum psychosis.

She writes: “My doctor believes that my traumatic birth could be what triggered my illness. Things started to get more and more frightening.

“Home became like the Walt Disney castle, I couldn’t wait to get back and just climb into bed and be all cosy. But the second I got home and into bed I was drenched in this terrifying overwhelming sense of fear and dread.

“I felt like I was dying. My breath was short and tight, my heart was pounding out of my chest and my stomach churned. I turned to my partner Hugo and said ‘Something’s not right with me, I don’t know what it is but I’m not OK’.

“I thought I was going to hurt myself in some horrendous way and I was doing everything to try and avoid that plus I didn’t want my family to see me crumble away before their eyes and watch me turn into an anxious wreck.

“My psychosis took a dark turn. I still can’t exactly work out what exactly happened or what form it took on, all I know is I was completely terrified, lost, confused and scared for myself and my son and that I didn’t trust ANYBODY – I even accused Hugo of kidnapping our baby. I was in a black hole where the whole universe was a threat to me. All I knew was doom.”

After a spell in hospital she is now recovering but advises others: “Mental health is no joke, I had a peep into another world and let me tell you it was a scary place.

“Take care of yourselves.”