Now Keeley is too steely
IT’S good to see Meghan, the new Duchess of Sussex, on her prince’s arm again at a performance of the hit musical Hamilton. She hasn’t been seen in public for weeks. Although in Scotland with the rest of the royals, she has not been photographed with the Queen going to church at Balmoral. It’s said Meghan has been avoiding photographers and no wonder, as her father and half-sister vent their spleen and envy in press interviews. Poor girl. It must hurt. But she looked happy, smiling and very pretty with Harry in London. I’m glad to see it. HERE at Madeley Mansions we have our own University, Challenge gender wars and it’s not pretty. Richard is addicted to the show but sees it as a participatory event. In his mind, he’s up there on the podium playing for both sides and boy, does he take it seriously.
I find UC exceedingly boring but then I’m the most uncompetitive person I know. If I so much as venture a tentative comment such as “What’s on the other side?” he shushes me furiously, flapping me away. He tries to answer every question, even if it’s about quantum physics, about which he knows – well, as little as I do.
Not that this stops him. He makes wild guesses and shouts them at the screen. When he does get an answer right – not about quantum physics, obviously, but he scores reasonably well on geography and military history – he yells in triumph and punches the air. If I get one right, which I grant you happens rarely, I murmur the answer quite tentatively. Usually he doesn’t hear I SAT down to watch the new BBC One drama Bodyguard this week with keen anticipation. After all, there had been a lot of hype and it stars the actress who was so mesmerising in Line Of Duty, Keeley Hawes.
In my mind she can do no wrong. But I’m afraid I’m not enjoying Bodyguard, tense and fast-moving as it is, because, playing the home secretary, she’s wasted in it. She doesn’t appear much and the character is a cold, ambitious, calculating bitch, whereas Hawes’ real strength is her great warmth.
Obviously she’s a fine actress and can play anything from a corrupt cop (in Line Of Duty) to Mrs Durrell on Corfu. But what I love in her is her empathy and vulnerability. We’re very lucky in this country to have a small coterie of extraordinarily gifted actresses who appeal directly to other women.
Nicola Walker, so fantastic in Unforgotten; Olivia Colman of Broadchurch fame and about to play the Queen in the next series of The Crown; Sarah Lancashire, of Happy Valley. They’re all wonderful and unique in their portrayals of womanhood. They’re not bombshells (though all are attractive). They embody strength as well as vulnerability, warmth and emotional intelligence. They are me, so focused is he on Paxman’s sneery face. He might answer himself, obviously loudly, and if we’re both right he shouts: “Yesss!!” and does the air punch thing.
“But I got that one too,” I say mildly. “And I got it before you did.” He tuts crossly. “Well I didn’t hear you,” he snaps.
“That’s because you were shouting so much,” I reply.
And so on. I usually leave the room to calm down. But he likes me to watch it with him so he can show off, and will pause the bloody Everywoman. And I regard them as friends even though I’ve only ever met them professionally. I don’t want to watch my wonderful Keeley playing a cold-hearted selfish schemer, as she does in Bodyguard. I want to watch her restoring my faith in womankind.
And yes, of course they’re actresses who can play all sorts of women – hard, soft, kind, and vile. But – and I know this sounds a bit pathetic – they’re my friends and I want to like them, identify with them.
So I don’t think I’ll be watching any more of Bodyguard. I don’t want my rose-tinted glasses to crack from frostbite. TV PRESENTER Adrian Chiles’s documentary this week on the little lies and obfuscations we tell ourselves about how much we drink was brave; he revealed he necks – or used to – more than 100 units of alcohol a week. (The recommended limit is 14). I’m not anywhere near that intake but after watching the programme, I’m considering having a dry September.
why do testosteRone-dRiven men dominate quiz shows? heRe’s youR staRteR foR 10
programme until I gloomily return. And that, in a nutshell, is the gender divide on TV quiz shows. Of course there are as many clever women out there as men but show a man a quiz question and he’s on his mettle. It’s as much testosterone as brains. He’s demonstrating his masculine superiority. It’s the survival of the fittest, last man standing. Whereas most women don’t feel the need to dominate.
Men’s mission in life is to win but most women couldn’t care less. Because we have a life. We don’t judge success by coming out on top. Well anyway, that’s how it is in our house. And frankly it won’t change anything if UC poses “genderneutral” questions so you can’t tell if they’ve been set by a man or a woman. And they’ll never attract equal numbers of male/female contestants, not while the nasty Twitter bunch are constantly trolling women who appear on TV, interested not in how clever they are but how big their cleavage is.
Quiz shows are a man’s game. And they’re welcome to it.