BEACHCOMBER

101 YEARS OLD AND STILL TRUMPING ALL OPPOSITION...

THE Book of Trump, Chapter One. But before that, we need a brief prolegomenon, explaining what went on before the Creation: The Book of Trump, Chapter Zero:

0:1 Before the beginning, there was Obama. Obama. Nothing. Right? Nothing right. OK? Chapter One: 1:1 In the beginning Trump created the US of A and the Rest of the Earth.

1:2 And the whole place was without form and void. Empty. Zilch. All of it.

1:3 And Trump said, Let there be a wall: and there was a wall. And the wall was built dividing the United States from the rest of the firmament especially the bit called Mexico.

1:4 And Trump saw the wall and saw that it was a good wall and said: It is a good wall, a big wall, and the bigliness of the wall is good.

1:5 And He did all that on the morning and afternoon of the first day.

1:6 On the morning of the second day He did read in the media that the wall had not yet been built nor even the first foundation stone laid. And He did condemn the media for its fake news, saying: This news is fake and they are fake news pedlars peddling fake news.

1:7 And He did spend the rest of the second day creating Twitter and tweeting wrathfully about the media.

1:8 On the third day, Trump did appear before the people of North Korea commanding them to put down their nuclear weapons or suffer the wrath of Trump.

1:9 And the people of North Korea did bow down before Him and did say they would surrender their nuclear weapons. And Trump saw that it was good and did say: This is good. Kim Jong-un is good. And I am even better.

1:10 On the fourth day, Trump did meet the President of Russia and thought he was good too.

1:11 On the fifth day, He created Trade and imposed tariffs on China.

1:12 On the sixth day, He created the wind and the rain and snow and stuff and withdrew from the Paris climate treaty and said He would withdraw from the World Trade Organisation too. And He did sack all His advisers and ministers who disagreed with Him announcing His decisions in a flurry of holy tweets.

1:13 And on the seventh day He did play golf and congratulate Himself on a week’s work well done saying: I have done well. Not bad for a week’s work. I have transformed the United States into Heaven on Earth. All is good. A good week’s work. Good.

1:14 And then He did read the Sunday papers but only the headlines as the rest was just needless verbiage and would take up too much of His valuable golfing time.

1:15 And the headlines were full of quotes from a book that said He was ignorant and stupid and incompetent and bad-tempered and rubbish.

1:16 And that His trusted staff were not carrying out His instructions and were hiding things from Him and were describing His celestial home as a shambles and saying that He hadn’t built a wall and the North Koreans were still building nuclear weapons.

1:17 And the Trump did wax exceeding wrath.