CAN WOMEN BALANCE CAREER AND FAMILY? TWO WORKING MUMS DECIDE
NO Says Heidi Scrimgeour
HOLLY’S right. The news that she has quit her lifestyle brand to focus on her family delighted me, because she’s saying out loud what many of us learned the hard way: that “having it all” is a myth.
The dogged belief that I should be able to combine a lucrative career with raising three children almost cost me my mental health. But I wouldn’t have crumpled under a period of intense work stress, requiring a year on anti-anxiety medication, if I’d learned – like Holly – to say no.
I’ve met mums who gleefully believe in having it all, but push them on the details and years have invariably passed since they were at working motherhood’s coalface. Much as I look back on the night feeds and nappies years with a nostalgia that doesn’t belie how tough that stage was, many proud “have it all” mums have simply forgotten the full story.
Some do manage it but they’re not the norm. And if Holly isn’t one of them, with the army of support that her earning power could buy, then it’s time we stopped trying to achieve the impossible. Kudos to her for leading that charge.
YES Says Lianne Young
HAVING it all can be achieved by making sure your work and life balance is in proportion. As a young single parent, I overcame many obstacles to carve out a career and be a mum too.
I chose to work to provide and support my two children, also to escape from a life on benefits. I worked hard in my first job as a dancer before moving into media work. I worked away from home some of the time and their grandmother minded them. I see quality of time spent with children more as beneficial than quantity.
Don’t get me wrong – it was not always easy to juggle everything without criticism from others. However I was happy with my choices for myself and my children. No one else was paying my bills and I was not going to stay in a wreck of a relationship just for the children’s benefit. I think that staying together for the sake of the kids is the worst thing a parent can do.
I don’t believe being a mum, single or in a relationship should stop us working and having a balanced life. So yes, you can definitely have it all if juggled correctly. I did and have no regrets.