A taste of the suite life
PLEASE excuse me for a moment while I do some quick sums… Right, first of all, how many days are there in six months? I make it 182.5. Agreed? Splendid. Now let’s multiply 182.5 x £20,000. That one’s easy: the answer is £3,650,000. Or three million, six hundred and fifty thousand pounds, if you prefer it in words.
Golly, that’s a lot of money, isn’t it? To fork out on a hotel stay, I mean.
The reason I mention this (I knew you’d ask) is that these are some of the figures bandied about tonight in A HOTEL FOR THE SUPER RICH & FAMOUS (BBC1, 8pm), the first of a new two-part documentary series.
Twenty thousand pounds a night is the asking rate for one of the penthouse suites at the Corinthia Hotel in central London, not far from Trafalgar Square and according to general manager Thomas Kochs (right), one guest did indeed hire it out for six months.
It does look quite swish, I grant you. Thomas gives filmmaker Jane Treays (whom he first met when he was at Claridge’s and she came to make a similar programme there) a guided tour of this suite which screams luxury, albeit in a borderline bonkers kind of sense, from the moment you step inside.
“First,” he points out, “you’re met and greeted by some incredible flowers.”
By this, a tad disappointingly, he simply means there’s a lovely floral display in the hallway rather than, say, a gang of Triffids.
Then he shows us around its various rooms, including the vast dining area, the luxurious lounge and the quite spectacularly vulgar – I’m so sorry, I mean utterly beautiful, I really must get that spellcheck fixed – bathroom, where the actual bath itself is of barmy proportions.
“It’s almost the size of a little plunge pool,” Thomas boasts. “Plenty of space for two!” He doesn’t specify two what. Oh, and this suite has its own luxurious office. I must confess I do like the look of this.
“You have a nice big desk where you can sign important contracts…” Thomas points out.
Yes, yes, we can see the big desk, Thomas, but that’s not the really good bit. Show everyone the really good bit, Thomas.
“You have three TV screens right in front of you,” he then points out….
Yes, that’s the bit I meant. Three TV screens! Wow! A TV critic’s dream! Just think, if I were staying in that suite tonight I could simultaneously watch EastEnders, Celebrity Antiques
Road Trip and Top Of The Pops 1986 with Simon Bates and Steve Wright.
“… three TV screens right in front of you,” he continues, “where you can keep up with what’s going on in the stock markets or the news.” Oh, right. So, not aimed at the likes of me, then. Fair enough. Didn’t fancy it anyway. Elsewhere tonight, in KIRSTIE’S HANDMADE CHRISTMAS (C4, 8pm), Kirstie Allsopp stops trying to make people buy houses they don’t want and turns her attention to making Christmas cards, gifts, decorations and such like. I’m not sure if anyone’s told her but they sell this stuff at WHSmith.