I wish I had gone for therapy years ago
Welsh television presenter Matt Johnson is urging people struggling with mental health issues to speak to a professional as soon as possible
NINE years have passed since TV presenter Matt Johnson, 36, contemplated ending his own life and five since he became an ambassador for the mental health charity Mind. Yet despite channelling his efforts into destigmatising mental illness for others, the former This Morning presenter has only just spoken to a therapist for the first time.
“I probably didn’t go to see someone because I was scared of digging too deep and it getting messy,” admits the former TV frontman, who first suffered from depression in his twenties. “It has been the best thing I ever did though, so it’s such a shame it took me so long.
“I can’t recommend it enough, I would 100 per cent tell people to talk to a professional. Just do it.”
Following his close call with suicide while on a Christmas break in Spain back in 2009 (“I was on a balcony’s edge with my foot up”), Matt has suffered several bouts of depression, yet never booked himself in for therapy.
“It didn’t fit with the way I wanted to go,” he admits. “Maybe in my subconscious I didn’t feel comfortable with going to talk to somebody. I wanted to deal with it in a different, more organic way.”
Instead, Matt spent years trying alternative therapies to improve his mental wellbeing. “For me, life was my therapy. I’ve been to Thailand and chanted with monks; when I was in LA I tried yoga and meditating. I’ve done the whole ‘I want to punish myself’ thing too, so ran three marathons.
“I thought talking to people
I met was enough. Everything has always been a forward step in self discovery, but actually sitting down and talking with a professional only happened a few months ago.”
PEOPLE may be surprised to discover that it wasn’t a drop in mood that finally persuaded Matt that it would be good to talk. “I have grown up in a world where therapy is for broken people and that perception is completely wrong,” he says.
“We think it means accepting that there is a problem, which isn’t necessarily the case. When I finally went, it was not as somebody who wanted to fix anything – I’m in a really great place – but because I’ve got a busy year coming up.
“I’m very good at creating ideas and then not following through, so that was the reason I signed up in the first instance. Then, in a way, everything fell into place – all the stuff about my childhood, teenage years and twenties all made sense. I really wish I had done it years ago.”
Matt may be happy to discuss his mental health but he has been surprised to discover even his close friends aren’t as comfortable with the conversation. “The stigma that is attached is terrible,” he says. “Recently I shouted across the gym to a friend to say I was leaving as I had a therapy appointment.
“He jumped across the room to shush me up because he was so worried I was going to embarrass myself. He couldn’t get his head around the fact it didn’t bother me to say it out loud.
“He’s highly intelligent and has seen the documentary I made to raise awareness of mental health, but was still saying, ‘Shhh, let’s not talk about therapy out loud’. If I said I was seeing a physiotherapist about my hamstring he’d have been totally fine about it. There’s still so much work to be done.”
This is one of the reasons why Matt has joined forces with life coach Ben Bidwell. The pair met on a plane to Ibiza and quickly discovered a mutual interest in mental health. “I told him about my work for Mind and he told me about his work as The Naked Professor and we had a ‘Eureka!’ moment of making a podcast together.”
In the weekly show the pair interview household names such as Davina McCall and Busted singer Matt Willis about their own experiences of mental illness. “We just want to start conversations about mental health and see where they go,” Matt says.
“When I first spoke publicly about my own experiences five years ago it was a huge shock as I was one of a tiny number talking about the issue.
“Now you see a lot more public figures opening up but I am concerned it’s not a true reflection of what is happening in rural and working-class areas in the UK.
“The stats just haven’t improved. Suicide is still the biggest killer of young men in this country, so while the discussions may be happening in magazines, on TV and in the cities, I’m not sure the message is getting thought in rural parts of Wales, the Valleys where I come from, for example. My story might have been very different if I had stayed in Caerphilly. We have a long way to go.”
Although he’s now realised how much talking really can help, Matt believes drastic action is required when it comes to the state of our mental health services. “What’s the point of television shows helping us to recognise the signs of a problem just so someone watching can say ‘that’s me’, then wait seven, eight, even 10 weeks to actually see someone? That’s not acceptable.
“We need to make therapy affordable and accessible because the people who are struggling with purpose and finance are the ones who really need help. There was a moment in 2016 when I didn’t have any work lined up and had massive debts. Money has always been a huge thing for me and I’d also had a break up. I was in bad shape and suffering chronic sleep deprivation so took myself to the doctor as I didn’t want to end up back where I was in 2009.
“It was quite a desperate moment and my GP gave me seven minutes to discuss what was wrong, diagnose me, prescribe tablets and tell me to expect a letter within a week. I then had to call a number to arrange a counselling session six weeks later. I never took the tablets and never phoned back and no one ever followed me up. I got myself out of that but looking back I can’t believe someone who’s had suicidal thoughts is just given the option of calling someone a week afterwards.
“It’s shocking. The mental health sector is massively underfunded and needs to be straightened out.”
● The Naked Professors podcast is available to download on iTunes, Spotify and Acast. Mind has a confidential information and support line on 0300 123 3393 (9am-6pm, Monday to Friday)