‘I hate the notion people over a certain age are invalid and only good for talking about ancient history’
stop and how much worse it becomes if you don’t know there will be a knock on the door at the end of it.”
The conclusion of Sue’s confinement saw Theresa, a lively 89-year-old, knock on the door. She told Sue her lonely life was transformed when she signed for Age UK’s befriending service.
Sue, who with Mel Giedroyc fronted seven seasons of The Great British Bake Off on the BBC, recalls that: “The doorbell sounded incredibly loud. I had been sensorily deprived with no sound apart from the ticking clock, so it was a shock when that sound came.
“I opened the door, and it was amazing how quickly my energy and interest returned. Although I had only been on my own 30 hours, it made an immeasurable and immediate difference. That’s how powerful a connection with someone can be. I loved seeing Theresa. She was a tour de force.”
Sue, whose partner is Anna Richardson, hopes her experience might make others look in on neighbours who may be lonely. “I really hope it has a galvanising effect. Because the film is so visceral and horrible, I hope it will be a call to arms to folk. “You can’t expect individuals to change a societal problem, but you can be more mindful of your own backyard. If people who live near you are elderly or vulnerable, try and include them. Say hi to them in the street or invite them round for Sunday lunch.”
She continues: “Because an Englishman’s home is his castle, if you knock on someone’s door, it can feel like an assault! But people will tell you if they don’t want you to do stuff for them. It’s just about asking them.”
Another thing that her period in the house taught Sue is the extent older people are often neglected. “What I mused about after coming out is how we marginalise older people. We put them in care homes, and in a way we are saying, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ Psychologically, you take on the trait of the five people closest to you, and if those people are old, depressed, or ill, you take on that mindset.”
The time also allowed Sue to think of solutions to the problem of loneliness among older people. “I would like to see a mixed housing scheme where students get reduced rent if they look after older neighbours for a few hours a day. We should also pay grannies to teach immigrants English.
“It would be a great idea to take this incredible army of grey-haired brilliance and deploy them as teachers.”
THE presenter, who is about to film a BBC travel documentary in Mexico, believes we should value much more the contribution of older members of society. “I hate that notion that people over a certain age are invalid and only good for telling you about ancient history.
“In many societies – although sadly not our own – grandma is everything. She’s a font of wisdom and kindness. Also, It’s very much a two-way street. People say we should care for old people, but actually old people can care for us, too.”
Sue, who looks out for an elderly neighbour who has become a good friend, does not wish to sound too negative. “I want to be involved in things that unite people. It’s not about Leave or Remain. Let’s change the conversation and make it more about people. Let’s try to be our best selves at a time when we are being driven to be our worst selves.
“Rage is easy, and I have a lot of it. But once you have shouted and screamed your lungs out at the TV news, you haven’t achieved anything except annoying the person next to you. On a small scale, we should all be asking, ‘How can I make things better for other people?’ ”
Ending on a message of hope, Sue adds: “This campaign is easy. It is not asking people to stretch themselves. I’m sure everyone can cast an eye around their neighbourhood and find an older person who needs their help. Talk is cheap. We should expend it where we can.”
●●Cadbury wants people to “donate their words” by pledging to have a chat with older people locally. For every limited edition bar of Dairy Milk sold, Cadbury will donate 30p to Age UK.Visit ageuk.org.uk/donateyourwords