Worzel’s field of dreams

IT’S been a little while since I’ve dined at a Harvester restaurant, so I’m curious to know: when you step inside the door, are you still greeted by Worzel Gummidge? You certainly used to be. Believe me, it’s forever etched on my memory.

A Harvester, you see, used to be my local. Don’t laugh, but I even had my stag do there.And of its countless attractions, the life-sized grinning models ofWorzel and his pal Aunt Sally – standing just inside the doorway, mechanically waving at you as you strolled in for your steak and chips – were by far the most, erm, memorable.

By “memorable” of course, I mean they gave me the heebie-jeebies.

Not nearly as much, mind you, asWorzel’s new incarnation does.

Seriously, this is one scary scarecrow. Not in terms of his personality, I should stress.

He seems a decent sort. I just mean, weirdness-wise. It’s not dissimilar to the feeling I get when

I encounter a clown. Means well, freaks the living daylights out of me.

Mackenzie Crook’s WORZEL GUMMIDGE (BBC1, 6.20pm) also proves somewhat disconcerting at first to Susan and John (India Brown and Thierry Wickens), the foster-care siblings who encounter him tonight at the start of this two-part remake (concluding tomorrow).The make-up and prosthetics gang have done a stonking job.

Once the kids are over that initial shock, however, and they get to know the chap a little better, they and the scarecrow will be the best of pals, mark my words.Which is great, because Worzel has something on his mind that he could use their help with.

Specifically, the recent harvest and the fact it’s been so poor.

The farmer himself, Mr Braithwaite (Steve Pemberton), is obviously worried too, which is why he’s like a bear with a sore head.

And talking of bears, straight after BBC1’s screening tonight of the splendid PADDINGTON 2

(7.20pm), you can switch across to BBC2 for a fine documentary called PADDINGTON: THE MAN BEHIND THE BEAR (9pm).

That man, of course, is the late Michael Bond, who created the character in the late 1950s and published his last Paddington book just a couple of years ago, shortly before he died.

Elsewhere tonight, Douglas Henshall stars in SUSAN HILL’S GHOST STORY – THE SMALL HAND (Channel 5, 9pm), playing an antiquarian book dealer haunted by a young boy’s ghost.

Henshall’s character finds himself increasingly rattled as these eerie visitations continue, and deeply disturbed as his nightmares intensify.

“This is scarier than Worzel Gummidge!” he shrieks.

He doesn’t really.