Out of a rut and into the groove
EVERY year I inflict my New Year’s Resolutions upon you. Every year I trot out something along the lines of: jolt yourself out of your rut. Challenge yourself. Don’t spend another 12 months comfortably wallowing in the familiar. This time I took my own advice.The opportunity came along to DJ in the nightclub Jakata just off London’s Carnaby Street. I know I’m a grandma of three and that I’m 57 and three quarter years old. I’m acutely aware that my “on the decks” credentials are less than zero. But I didn’t let any of that stuff put me off. After all what could be the worst case scenario: abject humiliation, excruciating embarrassment, disowned by my family?
So on Sunday last, at what is popularly known as a “bottomless brunch” – flowing prosecco and infinite nibbles all packed in between noon and 6pm – I wiggled into a gold-beaded catsuit and went for it. Lord, was I nervous. I didn’t sleep a wink for three nights. I’d been intensively coached in mixing, scratching and spinning.
Legendary DJ Rick Live helped me piece together a set that he promised me would keep the dance-floor full to bursting. Yet the whole “climbing out of your comfort zone” thing is frankly terrifying. If you’d given me an opt-out option, I’d have been back at Feltz Towers in my PJs watching the telly in a trice.
ONCE I channelled my alter ego “Young Veezy” and sprang into action with the catchphrase “YoungVeezy on the decks, Menopausal sex!” I truly had the time of my life. Enthusiasm, I hope, masked my rookie technical deficiencies. I danced my stilettos off, felt an electrically charged connection with the pulsating throng and delivered each track with such passion that I couldn’t have given it greater wellie if I’d written, arranged and recorded the songs.
I also decided, despite my other half’s insistence that there was no need whatsoever, to growl: “Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty bass!” I don’t know what it means, but I fancied giving it a whirl. My three grandchildren paid a lightning visit. I was determined they should see grandma rocking it out before I lapse into my dotage.
I’m writing this the morning after and believe me every single part of my body aches. Will I do it again? Who knows? Young Veezy might descend on your part of the universe. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.