Lover’s suicide took me to my knees but I’m back, says Zoe

ZOE Ball has told how she was “in shock” for years after the suicide of boyfriend Billy Yates.

Billy took his life in May 2017 following financial problems and several years of mental health problems including depression.

The Radio 2 Breakfast DJ said: “I believe I was in shock for two years afterwards. It’s like you can’t see beyond putting your feet on the floor and getting out of bed each day.

Since losing Billy,

I’ve met lots of people who’ve helped me have a better understanding of the complexities of mental health.”

The 49-year-old mum of two said losing love can

“take you to your knees” – but there are ways to recover and love can be found “everywhere”.

Zoe said: “It’s in your friendships and your parents and your children and in music. Love fills your heart and it breaks your heart; it’s so unpredictable, you don’t know where it’s going to come from.To feel love is the most incredible feeling in the world.To lose it will nearly end you and take you to your knees, but there’s always more.

“You know, I look at my kids or my friends and think, ‘I couldn’t love you any more’.And then I do. Love just keeps on coming.”

In an interview with Red magazine, Zoe also spoke about giving up alcohol again in 2016.

In 2018 she revealed on Instagram that she had been sober for two years – calling them “two of the toughest years of my life”. Zoe said: “I’ve done a lot of work on my issues with booze. I’ve been able to forgive myself. It’s taken me a long time to grow up.There is help at hand with AA and other support networks.”

She also praised her ex-husband Norman Cook, also known as DJ Fatboy Slim, with whom she has son Woody, 19, and 10-year-old daughter Nelly. She added: “He is such a good friend and a good guy.

“He’s the best dad. It’s not always been easy but now we’re in a great place as parents together.We do sometimes look at them and go, ‘Wow, despite what we’ve been through, we made it’ because they’re brilliant kids.”