This man is not fit to serve as a peer
Back Troubles’ troops, Boris! Weighty matters...
HERE’S A fact that makes me want to punch walls: soldiers are 54 times more likely to be prosecuted than terrorists over deaths during the Troubles, according to a legal claim lodged in the High Court this week.
For months Boris Johnson has been promising to end the prosecution of troops over historic allegations where there is no new evidence.
Yet next month 78-year-old Dennis Hutchings – a former staff sergeant in the Life Guards, who spends two days a week on a kidney dialysis machine
– is to be tried for attempted murder over the fatal shooting of John Patrick Cunningham 45 years ago.
The trial will have to be halted every two days so Mr Hutchings can go to hospital.
Seriously? And the Army wonders why there’s a chronic shortage of people signing up.
Why the Hell would they when they can be accused of murder for doing their job?
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IF EVER there was a stocking filler designed for every man on the planet it’s the Underpant Banana – a little foam contraption that slides between the buttocks and filters out fart smells.
It’s been hailed as a game changer for air travel. But why limit it to planes? I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been in a shop, at a party, at a dinner and a bloke lets one go which literally sucks the air out of the room and leaves the rest of us gagging. They then try to pretend it was nothing to do with them.
This bloke should have been wearing one…
■ MADELEINE McCann cops have asked for yet another £300,000 in the hunt for her which has so far cost £12million. Surely it’s enough now. Madeleine disappeared 13 years ago. If they were going to find her, they’d have done so by now. This is starting to look like a bunch of cops – who haven’t unearthed any credible new evidence in years – trying to keep a cushy job going.
IMET Tom Watson for the first time a few weeks ago. I was ready to dislike him intensely but in the flesh – much reduced of late – he came across as a decent bloke. And for a while, as he spoke about his weight loss and his new career as a fitness trainer, I forgot what he’d actually done.
But then I remembered. Tom Watson shamefully abused his parliamentary privilege to accuse high-ranking Tory politicians and Establishment figures of THE worst crimes anyone could ever be accused of: murder, rape and child abuse. He named and shamed people he claimed were members of a VIP paedophile ring at the heart of Westminster insisting he’d seen “clear intelligence” of said ring.
He hadn’t. He lied. Because there wasn’t any. Yet despite all that, despite wrecking the lives and reputations of innocent people, he’s being considered for a peerage. This week, a £118million investigation triggered by Watson’s lurid claims confirmed there was ZERO evidence to support any of them. There never was a paedo ring. The people he accused of being rapists murderers and abusers, weren’t. Yet, back in 2012 he was allowed to peddle his lies and pile pressure on the police to investigate those he’d accused, some of whom died without ever having their names cleared. Leon Brittan was one. As he was dying of cancer he was hounded over bogus rape claims made by another fantasist known as Jane. Police knew Brittan was no rapist because it transpired “Jane” suffered from paranoid delusions, mental health issues and had accused a relative (wrongly) of being a paedo. Yet still they chose to let Lord Brittan die without telling him his name had been cleared. Which is sick in itself. Even sicker is just days after he died Watson described him as “close to evil as any human could get” not seeing what HE was doing was the epitome of evil.
Which is why in the wake of this week’s damning report, Lord Brittan’s widow, Lady Diana, said Watson should never get a peerage: “This must raise questions how he’d use his position in the House of Lords.” And she’s dead right.
That other fantasist, Carl Beech, the one aided and supported by Watson in accusing public figures, is now serving 18 years. Yet Watson hasn’t been charged with anything – not even censured by the cops.
This man ruined lives, careers and reputations with his lies. That should not go unpunished or worse, be rewarded, with one of the most privileged positions in the land. Watson did what he did out of spite and because it suited his political agenda.Yet rather than take responsibility he now whines that he too was a victim of Carl Beech which is nonsense.
But as Beech settles into his 18-year jail term, Watson’s out there doing his bends and stretches, making a mockery of our so-called justice system.
Anyone who helps secure this man a place in the Lords is making themselves complicit in his evil and saying what he did was OK. It wasn’t. And the question remains: why haven’t the police pursued him for his part in this shameful affair?
DAWN FRENCH, who’s lost seven stone, moans that she’s “never done an interview without people talking about my weight”.
That’ll be because for years when the 5ft comic was a gargantuan 19 stone she was forever telling us that Big Is Beautiful, despite being slated by nutritionists who accused her of glorifying obesity.
Also much of her career has been built upon jokes about her size.
Then suddenly she lost eight stone but insisted she hadn’t really tried. (Yeah, right!) Then she put a lot of it back on. Now she’s lost seven stone again.
So, yes we’re interested because all that stuff about how Big Is Beautiful and being Fat Is Fab clearly wasn’t true.
She made her weight the issue – not us!
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EAMONN Holmes believes he’s the “best live television presenter in the country”. He said this is in legal documents related to HMRC’s challenge of the way he was paid at This Morning.
Eamonn also said This Morning hired him because he could do the job better than anyone else – which begs the question why Phillip Schofield is the full-time presenter not him.
Two things. First, Eamonn IS pretty good at what he does but he’s nowhere near as good as he thinks he is. And even if he believed all that stuff about him being the best, no one with a shred of humility would say it.
Second, it doesn’t matter how good he is, it still doesn’t exempt him from paying his full whack of income tax!
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NEWLY ELECTED Tory MP for Leigh, James Grundy, is facing calls to quit after video footage of him emerged dropping his trousers and whipping out his todger at a pub party in 2007. What is it with blokes like Grundy whose extraordinary vanity is equalled only by their towering stupidity?