Coronavirus has sent Nino’s OCD into overdrive. I can feel him watching me
A FRIEND rang the other night and said: “Well I’ve eaten THREE times and I’ve slept FOUR times and I can’t believe it’s still today.”
I get where he’s coming from.The days suddenly seem interminably long.And at a time when we can probably all sleep more than we normally do I’m getting on average two hours less.Why? Because at about 6 o’clock I hear The Husband fiddling with his iPhone which is lying on the bedside table. He’s trying to do it quietly but he’s like a rabbit snuffling in its cage. Every few seconds there’s a new noise and inevitably (and this is usually about 6.30) he drops the phone.
It makes an almighty noise which is followed by him hissing the F-word at least five times. By which time I’m wide awake – and furious.
Our days no longer start with “Morning Sweetie”, although to be fair that didn’t always happen in normal times. They usually start with a “Can you make less bloody noise please?” Or “Do that in another room, will you?”
Which kind of sets the tone for the day. I’ve already lost count of the times we’ve said to each other over our first coffee: “Let’s not fight today.” Which is followed 20 minutes later by a fight.The latest one came after he started telling me the best and most effective way to wash a spoon.
The thing is, coronavirus has sent Nino’s OCD into overdrive. On a normal day it’s tolerable – he doesn’t like me putting dirty utensils on the marble surfaces in the kitchen even though I tell him that’s exactly what they’re for. But he absolutely hates, hates, hates me (accidentally) dropping spots of olive oil on the floor when I’m cooking (there’s lots more but I’m sticking with his kitchen foibles for now). But thanks to coronavirus, his normal gripes have been ramped up to the point where I feel him looking over my shoulder, even when I’m making a coffee.
Does he think that after five years I don’t know how to work the Nespresso machine? What is it with people who have OCD? They have “clean” issues about some things but not about others.Why is it OK to leave bits of old veg in that plug drainer thingy? Why is it OK to keep using a dish cloth that should have been chucked away last year? Why is it OK to take five different food stuffs out of the fridge to make a sandwich and then leave them there ALL day or until I start shouting? But a spot of olive oil on the marble drainer – that’s a hanging offence!
I got very excited today when I cleaned out a cupboard stuffed full of toiletries (THIS is what I’m reduced to) and – joy of joys – I discovered a little bottle of hand sanitiser. Seeing it, I remembered I’d bought it in M&S last year and as I was paying for it I thought to myself: “Why am I buying this – I’ll never use it?”
Who knew that a few short months later people would be trampling over their granny to get their hands on one of these little beauties?
I’m about to try making my own.A pal gave me the recipe – 40 per cent pure aloe vera gel, 60 per cent alcohol spirit (the kind you buy in the chemist for three quid a bottle), 10 drops of tea tree oil and 10 drops of any essential oil.
It took me ages to find the spirit. But I eventually got a bottle in a tiny chemist near where we live.The Husband pointed out that the strength of the alcohol will be diluted by the aloe vera.And maybe he’s right. But it’ll fill in an hour.And it‘ll be an hour when I won’t have my head in the fridge foraging for chocolate.