Struggling to find things to chat about with your lockdown partner? Tell me all about it
STEP 2
I LIKE to chat. I like to sit with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and talk to people. I think one of the reasons I became a journalist was because it meant I could chat to people all day long and get paid for it.
However,The Husband’s very definitely not a chatterer. It’s not that he’s morose or grumpy – although he’s perfectly capable of being both. It’s just that chatting about nothing in particular requires an effort he’s not always prepared to make.The thing is, I need interaction with people – he doesn’t particularly as he’s very self-contained. I used to think it’s because he’s from Bosnia and English isn’t his first language.
I rationalised it, saying it was because he didn’t always understand our sense of humour, he didn’t know certain words so it prevented him from being a chatterer. But the truth is, he’s been fluent in English since the day I met him and he understands everything. He just refuses to chat for chatting’s sake.
I’m telling you this because in lockdown there’s only me and him and most of the rows we’ve had are about the fact he can sit in the same room as me and not say anything for hours. One day last week, I said to him: “We’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes and you’ve not said a word.”
He looked at me like I was insane. “What’s there to say? We’ve done nothing, seen nothing, been nowhere.”
OK, he has a point. But a chatterer can make a conversation out of nothing.
And that’s one of the things about lockdown, isn’t it? In “normal” life a single day is jampacked with people who aren’t your partner. It’s full of experiences that don’t involve them. Both of you do different jobs so by the time you get home there’s a zillion things to chat about.
But in lockdown you know everything your partner has seen and done – even how many times they’ve been to the loo and how long they’ve been in there (what DO men do in the loo that takes an hour?)
In normal life we chat to our partners about the experiences we have away from them but currently the only experience I have away from the Husband is a trip to the supermarket or Home Bargains – a shop I love but where people, for some weird reason, still haven’t grasped the concept of social distancing. I spend my entire time in there telling people to back off and when I get home, I regale The Husband with stories about how inconsiderate and irresponsible some people are (that’s chatting to me) but it’s clear he isn’t the vaguest bit interested.
“You’re not listening to me,” I say.
“You tell me the same story every time you go there,” he replies.
And this is what I’m talking about.The only experiences any of us are having away from our partners (unless you’re a front-line worker) are boring ones.There’s no way I can make a trip to Tesco sound riveting.
I read something last week that suggested we should both listen to different podcasts and radio shows, watch different TV programmes, and then we’d have something to talk about over dinner.
Well that might work if we always had dinner in the same room – but we don’t. Himself has decided he can no longer eat in front of the TV because he says the coffee table is too low and he keeps spilling whatever it is he’s eating all over his T-shirt so he very often eats in the kitchen.
I like eating in front of the TV and, even at my advanced age, can still manage to get most of my food into my mouth.
As for chatting about the different things we’re reading about – he’s constantly reading about, or listening to stuff about politics.
But politics is work to me.Yes, I talk about what’s going on all the time but sometimes I want a break from it so I read frothy novels or watch the soaps, which he hates.
So yes, lockdown has robbed us all of experiences that give us interesting things to talk about – something I hate but which The Husband really rather likes.
IT IS so important when staying at home to keep moving – for the benefit of your physical and mental health.
So the Daily Express has teamed up with award-winning fitness coach Julie Bartlett to bring you some beneficial exercises.
If you have been following Julie’s routines, you will have noticed that you have been working on your strength and your aerobic fitness. Now it is time to work on your flexibility and stiffness. Please watch the short descriptive videos before participating and you will see the different stretches: express.co.uk/ videos/6154367934001/ Workout-at-home-Fitnessexpert-showcasessimple-stretches
If you have any medical conditions or restrictions please check with your doctor before participating. Julie says: “Stretching is so good for our bodies and following a routine every day helps keep your muscles flexible and strong. Stretching can improve posture, reduce tightness and even help you to relax. I love to stretch at the end of each day in front of the TV and others love to start the day with a stretch. Do what you can, when you can.”
You won’t need any fancy equipment and there is no need to change into fitness wear.
Hold each stretch for 20-30 seconds and do what feels right for your body. Some of the stretches are more dynamic (with movement) so flow slowly into the positions shown and hold on the last repetition for 20 seconds. Start easy and increase the stretches as you become more flexible. Remember to warm up first.
You can do Julie’s easy to follow stretches day by day or collect all the exercises and build them into a longer workout.
● Find more exercises and tips @julie bartlett.me/ hub