SOME DAY LET’S HOPE THIS LOT WILL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR TRASHING OUR CIVIL RIGHTS

THE LATEST list of must-do-can’t-do instructions as we inch towards the end of the complete failure of the lockdown policy becomes more and more zany. It seems I may now have a few friends, but not too many, round for a drink on the lawn. But can they go through the house or use the loo?

There is a solution of course.When the moment comes, point the leaky males at the flower beds. Drought problem solved. It’s an ill wind. Honestly, if I had lost the plot in a single novel as often as our present regime, there is not a publisher in the land would have had me.

It stops there? Not a bit of it. Some poor citizen in agony from toothache cannot seek solace because the dentists are still closed, even if they dressed like DarthVader to extract the malign molar. But the dog can because the vets are open. The pooch can also get a shampoo but not the CO because her lovely coiffeur is forbidden to work.

One might not object so noisily to the snail-slow lifting of lockdown if there were a single smidgen of logic in it all. By the by, I am assured on scholastic authority that the lockdown is the greatest interference with our personal liberty in a thousand years and contrary to the fundament of our constitution – the Bill of Rights of 1689, which no jobsworth has yet got around to repealing.

Years ago we used to be both concerned and protective of our ancient and world-admired constitution, copied globe-wide. But mass panic knows no reason. Some luvvie clowns claim we have no constitution because it is not written in one document and stored in one place like all others. But it is there.What do you think Magna Carta is? Or the Bill of Rights, or the Representation of the People Act? One day I hope today’s regime will have to answer before the Supreme Court for the trashing of our rights. Then, woe betide them.