Blockbuster of a trial had us all transfixed
SO, what did you do during the trial of the century? Loftily rise above it and concentrate on reading A History Of Western Philosophy? Or make like 99 per cent of the rest of us and find yourself utterly riveted by it all? I refer of course to Johnny Depp’s libel case against a newspaper or, as it should more accurately be known, the Johnny ‘n’ Amber freak show. Has ever such a case been seen in our courts before?
Every detail of it came from the wildest shores of Planet Celeb. The private jets. The fact that Johnny managed to spend his way through $650million without really noticing. Amber’s alleged affair with Elon Musk (one of the few men on the planet as nutty as Johnny). Whether or not Johnny pushed Kate Moss down the stairs. Red wine for breakfast. Something unspeakable in the marital bed, which may or may not have been human or canine and on which forensic tests may or may not have been carried out. Facial bruises that seemingly appeared and disappeared overnight. Johnny’s exes queuing up to label him a Southern gentleman who wouldn’t lift a finger to a fly.And so on.
But what has been striking is that Amber played the role of tragedystruck divorcee to absolute perfection. Barely there makeup with just a touch of red lipstick to bring that much needed dash of Hollywood glamour to the scene. Voice trembling with emotion as she declared: “It has been incredibly painful to relive the break-up of my relationship, have my motives and truth questioned.” (Johnny’s lawyer called her a “compulsive liar” who sported “magic bruises”, but no matter.) The high-buttoned understated wardrobe that screamed “classy” rather than “vamp.” The modest jewellery. The demure deportment.The more in sorrow than in anger aspect to it all.
She was flanked by her glamorous female lawyer Jennifer Robinson, her glamorous female sister Whitney and her glamorous female girlfriend Bianca Butti – natch, because it’s just so 20th century to be merely heterosexual these days. The courts haven’t seen anything like it since Marlene Dietrich’s turn in Witness for the Prosecution.Whatever the outcome – the verdict is due in the autumn – Amber certainly made her mark.
But then if you are a high-profile woman appearing in a sensational court case, certain standards must be maintained. When the ex-model
Christina Estrada sued her husband Sheikh Walid Juffali for £238million (she got £75million to meet her “reasonable needs”), she wailed to the judge, “I am Christina Estrada. I was a top international model. I have lived this life.This is what I am accustomed to.” What member of the judiciary could fail to be moved by that?
Or Ghislaine Maxwell (not yet in court, of course) haughtily refusing to reveal the identity of her husband (husband!) and demanding that revealing pictures of her be consigned to the dustbin. Of course she is. Or Naomi Campbell, who turned up to do community service clad in full-on Dolce & Gabbana, after she’d thrown a BlackBerry at her housekeeper. Of course she did. Many of us are not that enamoured of Naomi
Campbell, but when push comes to shove, the woman’s a class act.
Now Amber can join these hallowed ranks. When the going gets tough, the tough put on some couture, touch up their makeup and show their concern for the rest of us, as Amber did when she declared, “I will be glad to see those [legal] resources re-directed back to more important legal matters already delayed by the Covid-19 pandemic.”
Of course she would! If Johnny’s a gent and Amber’s a saint, then surely the two of them deserve each other. But then, some of us had already begun to suspect just that…