Judge a book by its cover…

ANOTHER curious and unfair cultural difference between men and women is the book- jacket picture. We’ve all tidied ourselves up for that. ( I wrote 12 novels and a lot of non- fiction over 20 years and have never aged on the cover. Oh no, why would I?)

But publishers want someone “marketable” and so ladies must look at least a bit alluring. JK Rowling is 55, but swishes her fine hair glamorously on the new novel ( which has shot up the charts, despite her hostile troll army).

Agatha Christie never minded looking grey and matronly, but now women do mind. Look along any bookshelf and there are the women looking mistily lovely, or at least solemnly benevolent. And youngish.

Then look at the men’s byline pictures. . To be taken seriously usly they have a choice between gravely scowling, savagely snarling, deep in thought, shadowed like a stalker or gazing philosophically y into the distance ce like a guru.

Only a very few, like the preposterous Russell Brand, look as if they cared much about grooming.

OUR BOATING companions this week, by the way, were consoling themselves for their wedding being cancelled ( well, postponed until the world settles down). The day was all fixed, then doubted, then replanned and hastily adapted down to 30 guests when that number was suddenly to be allowed.

Then the date of the 30- guest rule was postponed, with a week to go. So they cancelled the venue. Whereon a few days later the 30 rule suddenly returned, but it was too late.

This week they should have been in the mountains of northern Italy, in the sun beneath the towering Alps, honeymooning in an Italian spa hotel with an infinity pool and delicious local dishes. Possibly wearing kaftans.

Not eating sausage and beans round a cabin lamp in fourth- day jeans with us, while the boat rolled to and fro at anchor off Scabbacombe Head.

So they are declared this week’s winner of the, “What did you cancel?” competition. Previously we were in the lead with one Irish adventure plan and one Caribbean one lost. What’s yours?

Carole Malone is away