Forced into extra thyme

WE’VE got 90 whole minutes of MASTERCHEF tonight (8.30pm, 9.30pm, BBC One). It was meant to be just the 60, but then someone in Rugby Land decided France and Scotland should play their rearranged Six Nations match tomorrow, and someone in Telly Land then gave a weary sigh, having realised they’d have to clear a load of space in tomorrow night’s schedules to accommodate it.

Bit of a pain in the neck, but there you go.

The knock-on effect is that the Thursday night MasterChef and EastEnders episodes that were already billed will now have their Friday night episodes squeezed in as well.

The downside is that a new lifestyle show with Stacey Solomon, originally due to go out tonight, has had to be postponed to make way. Still, I’m sure there’ll be one of those helplines we can call.

And the upside? Well, where do I start? Ninety minutes of MasterChef is an unexpected treat.

I’m particularly looking forward to seeing how much longer John Torode’s crazy hair is by the end.

I only hope he doesn’t trip over it. Can you imagine the chaos?

John trips over his hair, then Gregg Wallace trips over John, then Ross trips over Marc, who trips over Jo, who trips over Lino, who trips over Jane.

Flying fondants everywhere. Kitchen carnage.

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. Ross, Marc, Jo, Lino and Jane are the five new contestants we meet tonight.They’re also the last of this year’s batch. Next week it’s the semi-finals.

By the end of the following week we’ll have this year’s champion. Hasn’t the time flown?

And hasn’t MasterChef coped commendably well with all these pesky Covid restrictions?

The social distancing, the hyper-vigilant approach to hygiene etc. It could do without Marc striding in tonight and declaring: “I’m ready to get my hands dirty in the kitchen!” but I’m sure there’s a Covid marshal who’ll have a quiet word, or alternatively wrestle him to the floor.

As for the others, they seem a particularly competitive lot. Jo, a retired teacher, warns: “I’m taking this competition very seriously. I will be furious if I mess up on anything.”

And Ross, from Edinburgh, also means business.

“Anyone who comes here and says they don’t want to win,” he declares, “is not telling the truth.”

Personally, I can’t remember anyone ever doing that – turning up as a MasterChef competitor and actually saying: “I don’t want to win”.

But wouldn’t it be fun if someone did, if only to see what they fed to Gregg and John to ensure that early exit?

I’m guessing chicken tartare.