It’s all doom and groom

IHAVE to admit it’s been a while since I watched CORONATION STREET. I’ve been a wee bit out of the loop. But someone kindly drew my attention to the fact that there’s a wedding in tonight’s episode (ITV, 7.30pm). So obviously I had to take an early peep at it.

Come on, who doesn’t love a Corrie wedding? And can you guess who’s getting married in this one? Sorry, yes, of course you can, you’re way ahead of me on this, I keep forgetting.

It’s Peter Barlow and Carla Connor, isn’t it? So that’s even better. I love it when Peter gets married. How many times is it now? Eleven? Something along those lines.

And one of those marriages, of course, was to the woman he’s marrying this evening. So will it be second time lucky for the couple, do we think? Carla certainly sounds confident.

Well, confident-ish. “I want this time to be forever,” she assures Roy. “Well, you know…”

Anyway, the groom, when we first clap eyes on him tonight, looks as healthy as the last time I saw him. By which of course I mean he looks dreadful. He hasn’t even touched the scrambled eggs Daniel has taken the trouble to microwave for him.

“Yeah, sorry, mate,” he groans. “To be honest, me stomach’s a bit off. Must be the nerves…” Yes, that’ll be it, won’t it? His nerves. Unless of course it’s something a little more serious? Come on, Peter, give a lapsed Corrie viewer a little hint, there’s a good chap.

“If I don’t get that donor liver,”

Peter then tells Carla, “then I’m a goner.”

Ah, of course! His liver! It’s always Peter’s liver, I remember now. Peter’s liver and Tracy’s kidney.

So, OK, Peter is seriously ill, poor chap, but he’s insisting this wedding to Carla must go ahead regardless.Also, he’s deciding he wants Daniel there as well, as his best man.

And then, oh blimey, he’s saying: “I want today to be special…” I may not have watched Corrie for some while, but I can still spot an ominous line at a thousand paces.

Elsewhere tonight, episode four of (C5, 9pm) gets under way in December 1941, with the prime minister paying a three-week visit to Washington DC. He’s there on urgent wartime business, to woo US President Roosevelt, but he also receives the warmest of welcomes from the American public, who greet him like a movie star and shower him with gifts.

One of these gifts, we’re told, was a giant floral version of the famous ChurchillV-sign.What a lovely gesture.

I might get one of those made for our front door at Christmas, rather than the traditional festive wreath.

At least the carol singers should finally take the hint.