We’re here for each other every step of the way...
When Elizabeth Whitworth was diagnosed with breast cancer within a year of her mother and aunt, she knew she could rely on them for support and understanding
I couldn’t believe it – first me, then Pat and now Liz had been diagnosed
With tears in her eyes, Elizabeth, 51, sat down with her three daughters to break the news that she had breast cancer.
“I was honest and told them exactly what was going on, while reassuring them I would have the best treatment,” she says.
As she hugged them close, her youngest, Isabel, 13, looked at her and said: “If nana can beat it, so can you.”
Sadly this wasn’t the first time Elizabeth had spoken to her children about cancer.
It was February 2019 and within the space of 10 months, Elizabeth, her mum,
Freda, 72, and her aunt, Pat,
65, had all been handed the same, life-changing diagnosis.
They were all now battling breast cancer.
“In May 2018, my mum was diagnosed,” says Elizabeth, a dental nurse. “We were all so upset. Then a week later, we found out about my aunt.”
For Pat, who has lived in Canada since 1979, this new diagnosis meant her cancer had returned.
In 2006, she was 50 when a tumour was picked up during a routine mammogram.
“Freda was the first person I called,” Pat says. “We cried together on the phone. It was such a shock because I’d been so fit and healthy all my adult life and there was no family history of breast cancer.”
After gruelling treatment, Pat was cancer free for five years before she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer of plasma cells, in 2012, which was successfully treated using chemotherapy.
Pat, a mum-of-three, was hopeful that would be the end of her treatment, but only a week after hearing about her sister’s diagnosis, she had another mammogram – with devastating results.
“I was shocked when Freda called to tell me about her diagnosis,” says Pat.
“I wished I could’ve been there to help and support her. I didn’t dream that a week later I would be told my breast cancer had returned.
“We spoke regularly on the phone, sometimes crying when it all felt too much, sometimes making each other laugh to lift our spirits.
“I told her about how things would be in the hospital and what happened during treatment, which helped her feel less scared.”
While Pat was 3,000 miles away facing her third diagnosis, Freda had a lumpectomy, followed by radiotherapy.
Elizabeth, from Heaton Mersey, Greater Manchester, did what she could to support her mum by phoning her every day.
But as Elizabeth grappled with the news about her mum and aunt, she started to feel unwell herself. She was unusually exhausted and had shooting pains in her chest. She was quick to put it down to her busy life, juggling her job while studying at college, and looking after her three daughters, Isabel plus Natalie, 25, and Emily, 22, with husband, Mike, 35.
“I thought it was the stress of finding out about my mum and learning about Pat’s diagnosis,” says Elizabeth. “But when I told mum about the pains, she said I should get it checked out, so I made an appointment.”
A couple of days before she was due for a scan, Elizabeth felt a lump under her arm. “When the doctor felt it, I let out a cry of pain and his facial expression changed completely,” says Elizabeth. “I knew then it wasn’t looking good.” Two weeks later, Elizabeth was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. “I didn’t fully comprehend it until a nurse handed me a six-month sick note and a voucher for a wig,” says Elizabeth.
“My life changed instantly.”
Her mum was the first person she told. “I was in shock when Liz told me,” said Freda. “I couldn’t believe it.
“First me, then Pat, now Liz, it was so unfair. But it was a big help that we knew how each other felt.”
For Elizabeth it meant she had two women who truly understood what she was going through.
“Mum and Pat were the first people I turned to when I had a question,” says Elizabeth.
She started chemotherapy straight away – her hair fell out, she was violently sick and she lost weight rapidly. But she found solace in confiding in her mum and aunt.
“It was a weight off my shoulders talking to Pat about chemo and radiotherapy. She talked me through each step and what to expect.
“It meant I felt better prepared when I went into the hospital for my treatment.”
And Pat has also felt the benefit of their close family connection, despite being so far away.
“FaceTime isn’t the same as being together physically but it allowed us to chat,” she says.
“When Liz went through her double mastectomy, I knew from my own experience how difficult that is for any woman. My heart broke but I am also very proud of her.”
While Elizabeth is now cancer free and her mum Freda is waiting to hear if she is in remission, Pat has been told her cancer is terminal.
While it has been an incredibly difficult time, the shared diagnosis brought the three women closer together and along with weekly FaceTime calls, they hope they will all be able to meet up when lockdown restrictions end.
“We still speak to each other every week, and although our breast cancer battle has been tough, we’ve grown closer because of it,” says Elizabeth.