You’re not the odd one out
Finding the courage to begin socialising again after losing a partner can feel almost impossible. But when the time’s right, it is an important step towards finding a ‘new normal’.
And it’s no easy step to take, as
Joy Warren discovered when her husband, Graham, passed away seven years ago after 50 years of marriage. “I’ve never been the type to sit still, so despite the fact I was still grieving for Graham, I knew I had to get out and socialise again,” explains Joy, 77, from Ferring. “For me, it was a matter of weeks before I felt comfortable going out alone, but I know for many others it can take months, or even years.”
Her neighbours Janet and Michael, Oddfellows members themselves, were there for Joy every step of the way. “They made sure I was never alone for too long. I joined them at all sorts of group meetings and events, from visiting the local dogs’ home to having a catch up at the monthly coffee morning. I signed up to the Oddfellows as a result of the wonderful new friends I made there, who encouraged me to get involved with the organisational side of things, which I really enjoy.”
Joy found that after losing her husband, she was alone in making decisions about her home and finances.
“I’m of a generation where Graham used to take care of all that. It’s been tough for me to figure out what the right thing to do is sometimes. The Oddfellows was a huge help with this as they have a Citizen’s Advice Line which has got me through some complicated times.”
For more than two centuries, the Oddfellows has offered friendship and support and is one of the UK’s largest friendly societies, with 404,000 members across its 114 Branches. It’s a non-profit mutual (membership from £25 per year) run by members, for members, to improve the quality of people’s lives. Members are invited to regular online and face-to-face social events with their local Branch, such as coffee mornings, craft sessions,
lunches out, guest talks and excursions. There are group holidays run by Oddfellows Travel in addition to benefits which include care and welfare advice and support, special member discounts and historical archive access.*
Joy added: “My advice to anybody in this situation is to get out there, socialise as soon as you feel ready, and don’t worry about going to events alone. People are always very friendly, and you can always ring ahead so there is somebody to meet you who understands.”