No place for hot pants!

SHOWJUMPING isn’t generally my thing, but as a kid growing up in the Seventies, I did enjoy the BBC’s coverage of Horse Of The Year. Millions of people did. Back then, it was proper primetime telly.

The rider from that era of whom I have the fondest memories (or, to be strictly accurate, the only memories; I’m hopeless at retaining details of this kind of stuff) was the legendary Harvey Smith, not least because his horse – I kid you not – was called Sanyo Music Centre.

Honestly, talk about humiliating. You’d never get away these days with giving a horse a name like that, would you? You’d be expected to call it something far more dignified, such as Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra 5G.

Anyway, the reason I mention Horse Of The Year is that it’s very nearly back tonight.And when I say “very nearly”, what is mean is that the programme actually back tonight is House Of The Year, which you’ll agree is almost exactly the same thing.

Presented by our old friend Kevin McCloud, GRAND DESIGNS: HOUSE OFTHEYEAR (C4, 9pm) will be showing us around some of the remarkable properties in contention for this year’s title, to be presented by the Royal Institute of British Architects.

And when I say “remarkable” here, what I mean is properties where it looks as though no one actually lives.

The houses we visit in the first episode of the series include a futuristic, 1960s sci-fi-inspired water tower in rural Norfolk, a “radically contemporary” interior concealed within a 14th-century Cumbrian fortress, and an angular, space-age extension to a classic Georgian farmhouse.

So, yes, an impressively wide range of homes there, it has to be said. But as you’ll see, they do have certain factors in common. Most notably, none of them has anyone’s pants drying over the radiator.

Before that, on a slightly more down-to-earth level, but only slightly, this week’s episode of GEORGE CLARKE’S OLD HOUSE, NEW HOME will be following a pair fromWorthing in Sussex as they look to spruce up their Victorian terraced property. Have they considered maybe incorporating a Japanese influence? If they haven’t, they’re about to.

And finally, Professor Brian Cox, presenter of BBC2’s magnificent documentary series Universe, has the latest on Sagittarius A*, an enormous black hole that’s been discovered at the centre of our galaxy.

But we’ll have to wait until next Wednesday to find out whether or not this spells imminent doom for the entire human race, because showing instead is Stockport County v Bolton Wanderers in MATCH OF THE DAY LIVE: THE FA CUP (7.30pm).