Technicolour dream boat
Bathing in the brilliant blue waters of The Bahamas is a perfect way to start a luxury cruise down to the Southern Caribbean. By Nigel Thompson
My eyeballs must have upgraded with Photoshop while I was asleep. That hypnotically translucent, turquoise tinted water I woke up to just cannot be real.
Of course… it is. The Bahamas has the Dom Pérignon Rose 1959 Champagne standard of sea. Best in the world. Nothing finer.
So later that morning, as the near-luminous waves drew themselves up a few inches and splashed over me, I felt I was being soothed by a magic potion that had been Photoshopped to 100% cyan and was deliciously washing away two years of pandemic misery.
I’d arrived at tiny Half Moon Cay on the Holland America cruise ship Rotterdam, which had sailed from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, the previous afternoon.
Box ticked for wallowing in a tropical sea for the first time in three years, next up was the joy of walking along the white sand beach with those gentle waves spilling over my toes. The fact that the destination turned out to be a beach bar was a splendid coincidence.
Half Moon Cay is an uninhabited private island owned by Holland America’s parent company Carnival Corporation and it is developed for day cruise visitors arriving by tender. Back on board this sleek 2,668-passenger ship, which has the elegant style of an ocean liner, I watched as we sailed away from what is undeniably a gorgeous Bahamian beach to start the voyage down to Curacao and Aruba, off the northern coast of Venezuela.
In the art of the sea
This is a slightly unusual itinerary as the 2,476-mile return voyage from Florida down to the ‘A’ and ‘C’ of the Dutch ABC Islands means three days at sea in a week – normally you’d only get one on a typical cruise.
So I had bags of time to explore this fine new (ish, launched October 2021)
ship – the seventh to carry that name for the line – and the on-board activities. Or just sit by the pool and bar at the stern and read some books I’d saved for the occasion. I did a bit of both.
Each day passengers get a printed list of events and activities and you can also create your own itinerary on the Navigator smartphone app via the ship’s wi-fi.
For example, I could have gone to a health session for advice about puffy ankles (looking at you and your annoying TV ads, Eamonn Holmes) but preferred the display on flower arranging.
I also attended a couple of fascinating, well-presented and well-attended audio-visual talks in the main theatre – one on Marconi and the history of wireless communication, the other a virtual ship’s tour with Captain Werner Timmers.
Top marks to the boss for a great insight into his vessel and some excellent jokes.
Back to blooms and, given the Dutch heritage of the 149-year-old line, it’s no surprise to see plenty of fabulous floral creations around the decks.
But these were surpassed by the array of superb modern art – most of it linked to contemporary music or wildlife.
I normally use the stairs on a ship, rather than the lifts, to keep up those daily steps, but getting anywhere took ages as I’d constantly be stopping to admire the works! (There are 2,645 pieces worth $4.1million on board).
Many are incredibly creative with the likes of vinyl LPs cut into the faces of pop stars, or animals made from recycled materials.
Dutch treats
You’re spoiled for choice with dining and the star of the show for me was the $29 extra fee Tamarind, which offers southeast Asian, Chinese and Japanese dishes. The Thai beef salad starter and crispy duck with drunken udon and ginger-chilli glaze main were fab, but the deconstructed yuzu cheesecake was a showstopper.
The fillet steak in the Pinnacle Grill ($39) was right on the money, and you will not have a better Dover sole meunière than in the intimate Rudi’s Sel De Mer brasserie with its eye-catching ocean-themed plates ($49).
But a special mention for the Grand Dutch Cafe. Hiding in plain sight on Deck 3, I only tried it for lunch on the final day (to my lasting regret).
A simple but delicious
Edam toastie, fries with curry
ketchup and a proper pint of Heineken was rounded off by a Bossche bol, a ridiculously good profiterole the size of a football (only a slight exaggeration).
You’ll also be happy with the main dining room and the Lido food market (shout out for the fresh noodle stir fry stand and, crucially, they have PG Tips tea), while poolside Dive In does a mean burger.
Sound waves
Live music is the key part of entertainment and the resident bands at the BB King’s Blues Club and the Rolling Stone Rock Room were hitting all the right notes.
These are no pub bands, they are great musicians and I checked out both venues each night (they alternate their set times so you drift from one to the other) along with many other passengers. Rock up early if you want a seat.
Cabin fever
A fever of excitement, that is. Rotterdam’s balcony cabins are contemporary, spacious
Strolling past the marina, trade winds blew me straight on to a seat in a bar
and well equipped – I could find no fault. Like all the ship’s crew, friendly stewards Raka and Sandra did an exemplary job.
Curacao
I knew very little about the most populated of the ABCs and our second stop, other than it is the home of the eponymous fancy blue liqueur.
Joining a group tour with guide Hetty, we headed to the Hato Caves near the airport. Rich with stalactites and ’mites, there is also a ‘Bat Cave’, with plenty of the little chaps flitting about (they eat nectar and avoid humans!).
Back in the UNESCO world heritage site capital Willemstad, Hetty walked us round the old town to see historic Dutch buildings and the star of the show, the 1888 Queen Emma Bridge, a wobbly pontoon which links Punda and Otrobanda across the harbour and opens for shipping.
From the 550ft long ‘swinging old lady’ there’s a great view of the Handelskade waterfront with its colourful buildings. Bright and cheery it may be, but there is a dark history too as for 145 years it was the heart of the slave trade, with tens of thousands of Africans shipped here in chains to be sold to plantations in the Caribbean and South America.
After hearing all this, Hetty’s group was in reflective mood as we set off to test the bridge’s wobbliness.
The port is a 10-minute walk from the bridge, and you pass through the 5ft thick walls of the 19th-century Rif Fort, which now houses smart bars and restaurants and offers great sunset views.
Aruba
It’s just 14 miles off the Venezuelan coast, which can be seen on a clear day, and the third and final stop before the two-day journey back to Florida.
Its capital, Oranjestad, is highly commercialised with diamond and souvenir shops, but some historic Dutch buildings remain.
I walked to the 1798 Fort Zoutman and its lighthouse, now a museum, and on to Governor’s Bay beach, where watching a determined pelican fishing for lunch in the strong trade winds provided much entertainment – and three fish for the hungry bird. Those winds were truly powerful, so much so that as I was strolling past the marina I was accidentally blown straight into Lucy’s Retired Surfers Bar and on to a seat in the shade.
Purely in the interests of research, and because it was hot, hot, hot, I stayed to test a local Chill beer. Inexplicably, like a duff LFT, the first test was inconclusive, so I had to have another one. It’s a Chill wind…