Tower’s Nazi little secret
TONIGHT’S episode of INSIDE THE TOWER OF LONDON (8pm, Channel 5) is the second of series five.Yes, series five.That adds up to a lot of episodes. Hours of them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine and fascinating show.The more episodes, the merrier, I say.
But how come it’s taken them all this time to tell us there’s a toilet there for Hitler?
One that was specially installed in case the Führer ended up imprisoned there?
Wouldn’t that be one of the first things you’d want to tell people?
Series one, episode one, straight out the gate? “Roll up, roll up! This way to the Nazi khazi, folks.
Anyway, no matter, we’re finally about to get a glimpse of it.
Yeoman warder LawrenceWatts is taking new recruit Tam Reilly on a tour of bits of the Tower people rarely see.And this includes the Queen’s House, dating back to 1540.This house, we discover, has a secret passage (who doesn’t love one of those?), which leads to the Bell Tower.
It was here that Sir Thomas More found himself languishing for 18 months, having had a bit of a fall-out (a somewhat fatal one, as it turned out) with Henry VIII.
But that needn’t detain them for long. Not today.
Up the stairs they climb to the third floor.
And it’s here that the aforementioned fascist-friendly facility is revealed in all its glory. “It’s my favourite part about the Bell Tower,” Lawrence tells Tam.
Lawrence explains that this “rather magnificent” porcelain toilet was put in place when the Allies believed Hitler’s capture was on the cards. “We were fairly confident we might be able to get hold of him,” he adds, almost as though he played a personal role in the operation (if he did, I must say he’s wearing awfully well).
If Tam thinks this is all a bit mad, he’s not letting on.
“Obviously, you need all the modern comforts of the 1940s,” is all he says.
But just in case he’s tempted to investigate further, Lawrence issues a warning.
“My favourite bit about this toilet,” he continues (yes, it would appear he actually has a favourite bit), “is the fact that there’s a note on there, saying ‘DO NOT USE’. So just remember that.”
Elsewhere, in another ancient cell, once occupied by a chap who’d been plotting to assassinate Queen Elizabeth I, a conservationist is going to extraordinary lengths to ensure the prisoner’s graffiti is preserved. Carved into the stone wall in 1571, it’s actually in pretty good nick. And what does it actually say? “Wise men ought to beware whose company they use,” it reads, “and above all things to whom they trust.”
Well, I guess it beats Millwall Till I Die.