Say goodbye to bush telegraph

SOME think Love Island contestant Olivia Attwood played a blinder getting chucked out of I’m A Celeb after just 24 hours – because she’s still getting her £125,000 fee.

These people don’t understand the psyche of Barbie bubbleheads like Olivia.

They don’t just want money, they’re obsessed by fame, they want to be adored, to be social media sensations, to have people say: “Hey you’re famous.”

I’ll bet Olivia’s tearing out her hair extensions at home at having lost the chance to be on TV every night for weeks parading her ample charms.

■ THE latest series of The Crown has been slated for sensationalising the truth. This week’s fake history crime? Viewers are furious that John Major – played by hunky Jonny Lee Miller – is portrayed as sexy.

A grave distortion of the truth indeed – unless you happen to be Edwina Currie! Or Norma!

■ SOCIAL media has been awash this week with celebrities who’ve already put up their Christmas decorations. At first I thought – “Nooo, too soon” (The Husband actually banged his head on the wall when I told him) – but actually, after two years of Covid and not properly being able to celebrate Christmas, I’m thinking “Why not?” So, while I’m not putting up the tree yet, I have started digging stuff out the loft and am scattering a few fairy lights about. I’ll build up gradually…

■ CROSS-CHANNEL traffickers are now offering a premium service costing £11,000 which includes a speedboat trip from Belgium with no risk of being incarcerated on arrival. It also includes access to lawyers who will help illegal migrants avoid camps and deportation.

And these are supposed to be persecuted people fleeing torture and war? We should have the word mugs tattooed on our foreheads.