A turn-up for the cooks
FOR THE sake of one of tonight’s contestants on MASTERCHEF: THE PROFESSIONALS (BBC1, 9pm), let’s hope the judges haven’t been watching any repeats lately of Blackadder II. Particularly the one where Blackadder’s sidekick Baldrick – who is notorious for his unusual recipe ideas – announces: “I shall prepare my Turnip Surprise!”
When Blackadder asks, as one would, what exactly the “surprise” is, Baldrick replies: “There’s nothing in it except the turnip.”
Blackadder could have guessed as much. “So in other words,” he sighs, “the Turnip Surprise would be... a turnip...?”
Now, fast-forward a few centuries and meet MasterChef contestant Tasoula, keen to make an impression tonight on judges Gregg, Anna and Marcus.
It’s the second round of this heat, and she and the others are working on their signature menus. So what has Tasoula chosen to prepare for this demanding trio?
“My main course,” she informs them, “is planet-based turnip.” (And, yes, she does mean “planet”, not “plant”.That’s because turnips, she goes on to explain, really help the soil, since they contain a lot of nutrients.) “So,” she announces, proudly, “I have a turnip purée, grated turnip, confit turnip, pickled turnip, turnip foam, turnip sauce and a turnip powder.”
Blimey. And what’s Anna’s reaction to that? “I LOVE turnip!” she cries.
“That’s just as well, innit?” says Gregg.
Elsewhere, talking of people known for their idiosyncratic meal ideas, this week’s episode of LOUIS THEROUX
INTERVIEWS… (BBC2, 9pm) takes us to a private island off the Welsh coast, to meet the guy who owns it (owns the island, I mean, not the Welsh coast). Namely, survivalist Bear Grylls.
Despite having previously shown a fondness for such delicacies as maggots and raw octopus (“I LOVE maggots and raw octopus!” you can just hear Anna exclaiming), Bear turns out to be a keen conventional cook.
Well, conventional-ish.
“I love cooking massive things of steak and liver,” he tells Louis. “With honey.And a whole bunch of eggs.” Louis seems surprised: “You can’t be having that every night?” Oh, but he can. “Steak every night, yeah,” Bear confirms.
Elsewhere, an element of culinary normality is resorted, thank goodness, in ALEXANDER ARMSTRONG IN SOUTH KOREA (C5, 9pm), as our host settles for a nice cold beer and a plate of fried chicken. Brought to his table by a robot, naturally.
“It’s disconcertingly lukewarm,” is his verdict. Later, perhaps still peckish, he casts an eye over the Yangnyeongsi Medicinal Market. He looks tempted to try the dried frog.And yet somehow not very.