Saving the Union in a way that bears fruit
SERIOUS concern or a sign of the times? New figures revealed that for the first time the majority of sperm donors registered in Britain come from abroad, with the United States and Denmark being the greatest exporters to Britain. Experts are saying that this may be due to difficulties in finding a UK donor, or a belief on the part of the mother that the child would be less likely to try to seek out its father. But what caught my eye is this: you can actually get a catalogue for these men and choose them on the basis of physical attributes or professions. You want your progeny to be a doctor or a lawyer? Why not ensure it’s in the genes from the start?
Now, no one is seeking to make light of the desperation some women feel to have a child and the lengths to which they would go to achieve that aim, but you can’t help wondering if there is more at play here than just a UK donor being hard to find. The US is a place of ample opportunity as long as you have the drive to see it through: why not seek out a donor with the characteristics of a tech billionaire (nerdiness combined with massive entrepreneurial flair), hope your child inherits the talent and, bang, there’s your pension sorted out. As for the Danes, they tend to be very good
looking in a Nordic sort of way and they are an exceptionally reasonable people. Also they like to eat herring, which for some of us is a plus.
Of course, it’s terribly racist now to say that some countries have national characteristics, but let’s throw caution to the wind and see what’s out there.Want to have a philosopher
child? Look to France. Musical one? Germany should do the trick. As for an Italian father, while that gorgeous country can sometimes be a little scatty these days, with something of a dark side beneath the beauty, this is the home of the Renaissance, the birth of opera and ballet, the most stunning churches in the world (the Duomo in Milan and St Mark’s Basilica in Venice) and some seriously good wine and cheese.
Who wouldn’t want a taste of that? But the best of all does actually lie in the UK if you can find them.A proud people, brilliant engineers, explorers, writers and living in some of the most beautiful countryside on earth: the Scots.
Now there’s a thought. Ignore the dreaded Nicola Sturgeon and ensure the future of the Union by peopling the place with half Scots, half everything else.
Aye, we could all lift a wee dram to that!