EASTENDERS

MUM’S THE WORD – ALAS It’s always a mistake to leave the Square, because it’s a given that you’ll return to find someone is one of three Ds – Divorced, Dead or Dumped by the latest producer (the last two invariably go together).

Kathy returns this week and Kim fills her in on the latest tragic events. Kathy’s curious as to why Ian didn’t call, but he’s preoccupied because Steven’s body has been released. It’s all too much for him and, when Kathy reminds him that she is his and Ben’s mother, he breaks down (pictured). Yes, that reminder would be enough to make anyone weep.

Kathy thinks Ian’s behaviour might have something to do with the fact that she faked her own death. Yer don’t say! A sane person might say that was just the cherry on the cake. She also encourages him to visit Bobby – that’ll cheer him up! Will he go, or decide that having a nervous breakdown and becoming a tramp was better than the life he has now? As plans get underway for Steven’s funeral, tensions are raised between Lauren and Abi. And on the day itself, the family liaison officer reveals that Steven did not have a brain tumour. This is unlikely to come as a mega shock as nobody knew Steven had a brain. Will Abi’s involvement be exposed, or can we expect a full house at the funeral? In tedium elsewhere, Keegan’s still looking for a job. Why oh why wasn’t this entire ghastly family blown up in the explosion?