CORONATION STREET

Babies, babies and more babies. How many more must we endure? Having them (accidentally or on purpose), talking about having them, or talking about not being able to have them – it seems as if everyone is on the Mothercare or Mothercareless bandwagon. In the first half alone of Coronation Street’s first episode last Monday, we had Mary fawning over grandson George, Pat banging on about becoming a grandfather, and Toyah still wittering on about hopefully having a child. Then we learned that the surrogate is pregnant. Oh, no! Not another nine months of this.

In last week’s EastEnders, Stacey was rushed to hospital for an emergency C-section, and in this week’s Emmerdale, Moira’s baby won’t stop crying, prompting an emergency doctor’s appointment. Enough! Yes, I know babies are essential to the survival of the human race and play a key part in soapland, but must we have so many? At least Corrie provided an unintentional funny moment, when George kept trying to claw Mary’s eyes out. But the poor kid’s screams in the presence of Angie’s shouting were real – and that, as I’ve said before, is child cruelty. Babies should be seen and not heard.

ACHES AND LADDERS

Anyone else think Seb looks like a One Direction band member who got away? Harry Visinoni, who plays him, is breathtakingly handsome and, unusually for one so young, knows when less is more. The camera loves him, and he carries himself beautifully ( be still, my beating heart). Model agencies, take note.

Poor old Seb (pictured with Anna) is in for a rough week though, after falling when cleaning windows at the solicitor’s office. Finding him on the ground, Anna calls an ambulance ( yes, she’s taking a rare moment off from making food for people); but did he fall, or

was he pushed? Join an orderly queue, ladies, to change his dressings. When the police arrive, Phelan wastes no time in trying to frame Anna for attempted murder. Trust me, coppers, slicing an egg is as far up the assassination ladder as she’s ever going to get.

Cellargate is gathering pace, though it’s hard to see how it will end. But when Nicola starts asking questions about Phelan’s murky past, he makes a decision about the hostage situation. By the way, why didn’t Andy, who was up and about last week, just whack his captor over the head with his chains? Methinks there’s a bit of a bromance going on.