SOAP WATCH

At what point do couples decide that ‘for better or for worse’ is not worth the hassle when the latter outweighs the former? Although Corrie’s Anna and Kevin are not hitched, they appear to be sticking to the most basic of marriage vows. But enough’s enough, Kev! There’s only worse to come. When a mechanic’s best relationship is with his monkey wrench, it’s time to explore pastures new. Where Anna’s concerned, forget pastures; any new blade of grass is welcome.

One of the great miracles of soapland is why couples stick together when their lives have not an atom of ‘better’ in them. Not even a double alien abduction could have put EastEnders’ Sharon and Phil through more than they’ve already endured, and one can only pray that they don’t live beyond pensionable age. Forget what Brexit might cost you; the taxpayer will be keeping Sharon and Phil in therapy and/or lawyers’ fees for decades.

Emmerdale is incapable of delivering even a minute of the ‘better’ side of marriage. Shoot ’em, blow ’em up, kidnap ’em... For worse, worse, and even more worse than you could possibly imagine might be a more apt vow.

SIGN OF IMMINENT DOWNSIDE

‘There’s only ever gonna be an upside.’ Kevin Webster, Coronation Street BIGGEST UNDERSTATEMENT ‘I’ve spent time with a lot o’ different fellas round ’ere.’ Tracy Barlow, Coronation Street

NO LABOUR PARTY FOR GARY

What is happening to the Street? With the exception of the hilarious Moira (give that woman a full-time job!), last week had to be one of the most misery-laden, tedious ones ever, with absurd over- emphasis on Seb’s family; and yesterday’s climax to Cellargate was just plain ridiculous. Connor McIntyre (Phelan) is a brilliant actor, but this storyline began to smack of desperation. Fair play to him, carrying it all off with a straight face.

This week doesn’t look much better, when Gary returns home to the shattering news that Nicola is pregnant (pictured). How will he