CORONATION STREET

There are characters who instantly gel in soapland, others who take time to become part of the furniture, and some who are so irritating and/or offensive, you just pray for them to fall under a bus. From the moment she arrived, Corrie’s Bethany looked as if she’d been around forever, thanks to Lucy Fallon’s extraordinary performances. EastEnders’ Hunter is impressive too. Charlie Winter, who plays him, hasn’t fallen into the trap that so many do by arriving in Walford and going totally OTT. It’s a beautifully understated portrayal and I predict he’s going to be around for a long time.

Corrie’s Phelan took a bit of getting used to, but is now probably soap’s most popular villain ever. Played by Connor McIntyre, who brought to the part a verve that made it impossible to let the character leave, Phelan is now so much a part of the show, we’ll have to go into mourning when he finally goes – as inevitably, as a real baddie, he must.

Which brings me to the final category and EastEnders’ Karen (Lorraine Stanley). Racist, unfunny, embarrassingly over the top... Now where’s that double-decker when you need it?

ORGAN MUSIC TO MY EARS Kidneygate reaches its climax with Carla and Aidan (pictured, with his father Johnny and sister Kate) in the operating theatre, and Roy and Johnny bonding over their love of Carla. One of the biggest concerns following a kidney transplant is apparently pain control, though I doubt there is a drug on the market capable of numbing the pains in the neck that are the Connor clan. Carla (inset) also has a big announcement to make. My guess is it’s along the lines of, ‘Bring me a vat of Chianti.’

Despite reports that Phelan will receive his comeuppance, there’s precious little sign of

it. Liz again attempts to warn Eileen about her husband, while he, meanwhile, is on to Nicola after finding Seb holed up in her flat. After Nicola’s baby scare and another spat with Gary, Phelan asks to speak to his daughter alone; but what does he want to say? I suspect it won’t be, ‘Would you like me to bring you some grapes?’ Will the full extent of his crimes ever come to light, or does he have another murder planned? Oh, please, let it be Billy. This whole drug abuse stuff is a real drag. Come on, guys, lighten up! Lesbian love triangles, serial killers, druggie vicars – what’s happened to the laughs?