CORONATION STREET

Knowing when to end a storyline is tougher than coming up with the idea of a great one in the first place. Then there’s the problem of how to end it. The usual option is to wait for the end of the year in a bid to win the Christmas ratings battle. The festive day itself is invariably the one on which characters decide to air their dirty laundry (or roll around in it with the neighbours) and viewers are promised that lives will never be the same again. Of course, they always are. Come 2 January, everyone starts to repeat the same patterns they did the year before.

Coronation Street has prolonged the Phelan storyline because Connor McIntyre, who plays the baddie, was simply too good to let go. Better persuade the audience to suspend disbelief than lose a major talent (and he hasn’t gone yet). EastEnders dragged out Who Killed Lucy? for what seemed like an eternity, woefully ignoring the fact that none of us cared. By comparison, the 1994 revelation that Sharon slept with Phil while married to Grant was a sublime piece of narrative and pace ( by the always great Tony Jordan). Timing is everything.

BELOW THE BELT

Finally, we can say goodbye to the tedium of the charity boxing match. But when David jumps into it, he knocks Gary out cold. Really? An Army veteran who’s also been employed as security gets done over by a 5ft 6in hairdresser? I know David has a lot of issues to deal with, but let’s keep it real. At hospital Sarah’s told Gary has a bleed on the brain. I suspect the news Gary has a brain will cheer her, although even that looks in doubt when he proposes from his bed (pictured). Sarah’s a lovely girl, but who’d take on Gail as a mother-in-law?

Aidan’s under pressure. Despite Carla gift-

ing him the factory, he feels the responsibility might be too much. Is it a fair exchange for a kidney? It seems Carla won on both counts – she got the organ and offloaded her stress, giving her time to consume many more vats of red wine. Is Aidan in for another shock when Eva ponders telling him she’s carrying his baby?

Deception never brings happiness, as Mary warns Jude, who’s still trying to hide his secret life. Working in the marine life centre gift shop can’t be all bad, can it? Remember what happened when Deirdre’s ‘pilot’ lover Jon was exposed as a tie salesman? You’ll be caught hook, line and sinker, Jude.