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MURDER MAESTRO
Simon Callow, something of an expert at getting bumped off on screen, is appearing in Midsomer Murders. Will he survive the visit?
Simon Cal low is rather good at being killed of f, he says. Probably because he’s had so much practice at it. But whether or not he’ll meet a grisly end tomorrow when he appears in Midsomer Murders is unknown – at least, he’s not telling.
The actor is making his second appearance in the long-running whodunnit series, this time as viola player Vernon de Harthog, who is suspected of strangling musician Jacob Wheeler with a string from a Stradivarius violin. A piece of sheet music has been wedged firmly in Jacob’s mouth, offering a clue to his killer for DCI John Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon).
There will be another death in the episode, entitled The Curse Of The Ninth, but Simon won’t say whether it’s him.
He’s already died once on Midsomer, back in 2006 in season nine. ‘My character then, Dr Wellow, was smothered with a pillow by the amazingly elegant and great classical actress Elizabeth Spriggs, in Dead Letters. She was a woman of a certain bulk so it was perfectly credible that she could have the strength to kill my character.
‘It was great fun and further proof that the British public has an insatiable appetite for seeing me die on screen. Who am I to deny them the simple pleasure of seeing me done to death?’
Simon, 68, has certainly racked up an alarming number of departures. ‘It’s happened more on film and TV than on stage,’ he says. ‘I’d say about 80 per cent of the characters I’ve played on TV or in films have expired, although I’m not sure quite why that is. When I got the script for Four Weddings And A Funeral, in which I played Gareth who has a heart attack, I said, “I bet I’m the character who dies,” and sure enough I was.’
Does Simon feel a little typecast as a murder victim? ‘Oh no, not at all – I look forward to dying in a fresh fashion in my next role, whatever that might be. There are many more ways I could go – the list is inexhaustible I’m delighted to say – and I am rather good at it. I have a huge repertory of death that I call upon when the need arises.’
An asthma attack put paid to Simon’s character in the 1990 BBC2 comedy drama Old Flames, while in ITV detective drama Lewis, his character Vernon Oxe was shot in the chest. Most spectacularly, in the fantasy drama Outlander he was beheaded while playing the Duke of Sandringham.
‘I did ask if I could keep my head as a souvenir, I thought I could put it on a spike outside my front door. But they wouldn’t let me.’
In the new Midsomer episode, the last in the show’s 19th season, one scene involving Simon’s character was deemed so shocking by the producers that it had to be reshot. ‘We had to film a less X-rated version of what we’d just done,’ he confirms. ‘My performance was considered a bit much for a family audience, although it was an accurate portrayal of what was taking place.’
But the re- shoot may have been unnecessary. Complaints about violence in Midsomer are almost nonexistent. In fact, viewers only become truly angry when there isn’t a gory murder.
One episode, Habeas Corpus, from January 2016, appeared to include a killing but then turned out to be murder- free as the alleged victim had faked their own death. Hundreds of people took to social media to complain and many more contacted ITV to express their disappointment at not seeing a blood- stained corpse on the screen. Thankfully, in Simon’s episode there are two very real deaths. That will bring the total toll to 340 people, over 116 episodes – stretching back to the very first in 1997, when John Nettles was playing the main role of DCI Tom Barnaby.
Of those, 13 have been accidental, ten have been suicides and seven people have died from natural causes. The murders have been creative, including death by cricket bat, saucepan, candlestick, pitchfork and even a round of cheese – all rather extraordinary for leafy Middle England.
But Simon, whose next project is the romantic comedy Blue Iguana, out later this year, knows why viewers keep coming back for gore. ‘The show has a certain tone to it and when you appear in Midsomer Murders, it’s important you recognise that the show has a little twinkle in its eye,’ he says. ‘ It’s not a comedy but Midsomer Murders is a little bit knowing and charming, rather than brutal.’ Midsomer Murders, tomorrow, 8pm, ITV.