EASTENDERS

DEALER OR NO DEALER?

Bring back chess! As the tedium of another drugs storyline takes hold, I’m praying for the glory days when bishops and knights ruled Albert Square. When Rainie tells her dealer she wants no more to do with him (yawn), Donna sets her up and posts drugs through the letterbox, where Max finds them. Will Max believe Rainie (pictured, with Max), and how will she react when she discovers who’s behind it? How will Robbie react, too? Is it the end for Walford’s most unlikely romance? You’d need to be on something to believe it – Mogadon might help. Just wake us up when it’s all over.

The show’s bizarre obsession with inanimate objects is manifesting itself in the ongoing discussions about Charlie’s cab. If you thought the cab with him was as exciting as... well, watching a meter turn over, this is as thrilling as viewing a stopped meter. This week sees Hayley attempt to get the keys from Jean and turning to Keanu for help breaking into it. When Hayley shares sob stories with a stranger, what’s he up to taking a picture of the licence plate? I suppose it’s too much to ask that she run him over? No, that would be too much excitement. Hold on to your hats, there’s more... Hayley plans to get her taxi licence. Good luck with The Knowledge if you can’t even learn how not to get pregnant.

Tina’s in a bad way when past memories come flooding back. When she finds herself at the police station after a night out, will she come clean to Linda, who collects her?