THE PAIN OF MY LOSS

Patricia Routledge had enjoyed a long and distinguished theatre career when she suddenly found herself elevated to national treasure status at the age of 60 with her glorious comic performance as Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced ‘Bouquet’) in Keeping Up Appearances. The sitcom, which followed eccentric snob and social climber Hyacinth (right) in her attempts to appear superior, ran from 1990 to 1995, and as its final series aired Patricia told Lynda Lee-Potter of the sadness that had pervaded her life...

‘I did have my heart broken when I was young. It was a grand passion but it was complicated from the point of view that he was a married man and, of course, I felt very guilty. I would gladly have lived with him and I wanted his children. But I couldn’t do it. We were both quite moral beings I suppose.

‘About eight years ago I thought I was absolutely content, and I wasn’t going to meet the right person who would make a marriage work. Then I was taken totally by surprise because out of left field this enchanting person appeared. He was a director, and of course good directors get inside you, as it were. He was a funny and delightful man, but he had a heart condition which I didn’t know about for a while.

‘Then my brother was diagnosed with cancer. He told me on the phone he had a malignant melanoma behind his left eye. I woke up in the morning and I thought, “I mustn’t carry this into rehearsal with me.” I went to rehearsal and the director had died in the night. This dear man was no more. I was distressed for him and my brother, just so hurt, so sore really with the pain of it, the pain of loss.’ Yet she finished the interview with a surprise. ‘A corner of my heart is taken,’ she said. ‘I’ve got a sneaking feeling I might have almost everything in the end. Life is full of wonderful surprises if you keep your eyes open. Who’s to know what’s around the corner? He’s someone I’ve known for years. He’s in theatre management but we hadn’t seen each other for a long time and then we met again. Sharing my home with the right person would be lovely.’