coronation street ■ doggie treats

■ Gemma’s Four-titude How many more years will we be subjected to The Quads? Cute as they are, the show has made a rod for its back – the storyline is going round and round. Gemma’s stressed, the babies cry, Gemma gets more stressed – and now she has the added difficulty of her know-it-all mother moving in after Bernie finds her in distress (pictured). She’s already insulted Gemma’s friends from the baby group (when did they move into the Street, by the way, and how come they haven’t been to the pub yet?), and Chesney is none too happy with the new arrangement. It seems Gemma is suffering from post-natal depression; I feel I am, too. I reach for the mute button on the remote every time The Quads start crying (or Bernie or Gemma start speaking).

My suspicion is that Ken won’t last much longer in Stillwaters after Charles fines him for smuggling Eccles in for the night. When Ken confronts The Dictator (Norris’s words), are we now counting down the days before

Ken returns o –

Claudia, who wonders why Ken is dressing like ‘a latter-day Val Doonican’ (hasn’t he always?)? My guess is that Claudia will link up with Charles, giving Ken no choice but to leave.

Was there anything so heartbreaking as seeing Yasmeen desperately trying to clean curry off her carpet after Geoff threw her dinner on the floor? After he served up her pet chicken, why eat anything he puts in front of her? Surely the arsenic won’t be that far behind.