JONATHAN CAINER
Dear Jonathan, You recently said you suspected ‘mysteries of dark matter will turn out to be surprisingly closely connected to the mysteries of astrology, telepathy and magic’. Can you say more about that? Harry. Dear Harry, It’s not really my place to say more. That’s for physicists and astronomers — if or when they ever tire of scoffing at astrologers and others who believe our lives are being touched by mysterious forces that we might never fully understand. Then they can explain the mysterious way in which dark matter must inevitably remain a mysterious force which defies our understanding!
ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 OUR disagreements can matter more than the points we have in common. Dating agencies should take note. What we may most need to know about someone, is not, ‘do they like Mozart too?’ but ‘do they enjoy arguing the toss about whether the rules of cricket need to be updated?’ Or if pink and brown can ever be fashionable colours’? Some folk, don’t just want to be agreed with, they take pleasure in being challenged. A row or dispute today, may yet prove highly constructive. Have I got news for you? You bet. And it’s extremely encouraging. To hear your indepth forecast, call 0906 751 5601.
TAURUS SOME folk are Apr 21 — May 21 natural wheelers and dealers. It is almost as if they were born to buy, sell and barter. Others find such base commercial transactions a little tasteless. They feel it demeans them to have to get too involved in a tussle over prices and terms. Even if you normally consider yourself to be more naturally a member of that latter elite, life currently seems to be putting you in an exceptionally good bargaining position. Why would you want to resist claiming such a natural advantage today? Don’t worry about the future. I’ve taken a good look at yours — and have great things to tell you. Call 0906 751 5602.
GEMINI WE GET used to May 22 — June 22 things the way they are. Whether they are good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, we can no longer tell. And even if we can make the distinction in theory, in practice it is academic. It is what it is. If we could change it, we would. But as it seems that we can’t ... Well, let us speak for a moment about what ‘can’t be changed’. Are you sure it can’t be altered? When did you last try? You may yet discover that it is now much easier for you to accomplish something that you long ago dismissed. I’d like to say much more but there’s no space here. For your indepth four-minute forecast call 0906 751 5603.
CANCER THERE must be June 23 — July 23 psychiatrists and psychologists somewhere who need their heads examining! They may be fully trained in all the subtleties of the human mind. They may know their Adler from their Jung, but that doesn’t mean that they can distinguish their elbow from a rather different part of their anatomy with an altogether more vital function. We respect such
experts. We may even fear them. But they don’t know everything. Be wary of your own tendency to over-analyse today. Your in-depth forecast lasts just few minutes and could be one of the most rewarding calls of your life. Dial 0906 751 5604.
LEO I RECENTLY said that a July 24 — Aug 23 ring was a symbol of eternity. It can also be a figure 8, turned on its side. Or better yet, a lemniscate (look it up). It is something that we can’t fully comprehend. Our minds implode if we get them to reflect on the notion of anything lasting for ever. In the end, we just go, ‘Oh, I get the idea...’ But we don’t. How can we? It makes no sense — a little like some other situation that you are trying to resolve in your life now. Don’t assume that there is no answer, just because you can see no answer. Want to discover some priceless information about your outlook? Be brave. Pick up the phone. Call 0906 751 5605.
VIRGO THE great gurus of Aug 24 — Sep 23 meditation and mindfulness tell us that we should all try to live in the ‘here and now’. We should emulate the example of nature. Forget the past, ignore the future, just be conscious of and grateful for our immediate existence. It all sounds so simple. Yet some find it tricky to be present in the present — and especially so, when situations are worrying them or people are antagonising them. Life now, grants you the opportunity to rise above whatever has lately been upsetting you. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Where is the secret of success? In your in-depth forecast. Call 0906 751 5606. LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 IF WE don’t always say what we mean, how can anyone be sure that we mean what we say? Often, it suits us to allow presumptions to substitute for clearly expressed statements of position and belief. Let others think what they like. We will correct them only if it becomes clear that they have jumped to the wrong conclusion, creating some problem for us. Yet once in a while, truths must be shared and acknowledged, even if these are inconvenient. No harm will come of a current exchange. Your in-depth spoken forecast reveals the key to great success and the way to fix a problem. Call 0906 751 5607.
SCORPIO HEAVEN? Or Hell? Oct 24 — Nov 22 Just imagine if we could affect our chance of spending eternity in either place simply because of our opinions or beliefs. There may be some clerics, indeed, even politicians, who think that sounds fully feasible. But perhaps those who hold such beliefs are most likely to end up in the wrong sector of the afterlife. Meanwhile, we have this life to live and, no matter how short it may be or how full of irritation or consternation, it deserves to be enjoyed. Give your heart, today, to what is most special. Treat yourself to valuable insight and priceless information. For your spoken, in-depth forecast, call 0906 751 5608.
SAGITTARIUS WHO Nov 23 — Dec 21 needs what from whom? All relationships, be they romantic, social, creative or commercial, benefit from a clear understanding of the answer to this question. If those needs are hidden — or less than equally matched — problems are sure to arise. Yet in your current situation, all is honest and above board, is it not? And couldn’t be more egalitarian? There isn’t much wheeling and dealing to be done
today. Just an agreement to be reached. Seize your chance to understand what’s happening and discover how to be assured of success. Call 0906 751 5609.
CAPRICORN WHERE is the Dec 22 — Jan 20 wand that must be waved? Where is the book containing the Latin incantation that must be repeated under the correct phase of the Moon? Have you left it wrapped in your velvet cloak, at the secret sanctum where you are required to perform such magic? When you leave it, to return to normal life, you often cast a spell of forgetfulness to ensure that you don’t inadvertently reveal its location to strangers. But rest assured, you do know, perfectly well, how to deal with today’s challenge. Many people say their in-depth phone forecasts are spookily accurate and very helpful. Hear yours, call 0906 751 5610.
AQUARIUS ARE you Jan 21 — Feb 19 pushing your luck? What makes you think that it is OK to sit around reading this forecast when you’ve got so much to do and so little time? Are you suspicious of a conclusion that seems to have been reached with regards to what’s needed and why? Do you suspect you could end up chasing your tail, wasting your time or forcing an issue that might otherwise resolve itself easily without any great effort? Let us hope you are right. Actually, you are right. Relax! Are you worried about how things are going to turn out? I’ve got surprisingly good news for you. Call 0906 751 5611.
PISCES WHAT if you’ve made Feb 20 — Mar 20 a mistake? What if you’ve come out in sympathy for someone who doesn’t deserve as much support as you are being invited to show them? You won’t look very loyal if you start to back away now. And then again, what if you are only mistaken to imagine that you may be mistaken? One thing is for sure, your day and indeed, the rest of your week, will go better if it contains more certainty. And you can afford to allow yourself some. There is more reason than you think to have faith in yourself today. Even if you don’t usually call your indepth phone forecast, you should hear the excellent news today: 0906 751 5612.