Ephraim Hardcastle

PRINCE HARRY’S Royal Victorian Order knighthood (KCVO) intrigues courtiers. Why didn’t he get it on his 30th birthday last September? And why only a Knight Commander and not a top-flight GCVO (Knight Grand Cross)? Sophie Wessex, Camilla and most of the Queen’s chamberlains, secretaries and officers get the GCVO. My source says: ‘It’s a shame. Harry might like the GCVO’s red, white and blue sash. It’s known as the Miss UK because it’s worn in the style of a beauty queen.’ EX-ITN newscaster Sir Trevor McDonald, 75, pictured, has been paid a five-figure fee for an elaborate one minute and ten second TV advertisement. Shown on Channel 4, it’s for opticians Vision Express and takes the form of a lavish tribute to his distinguished broadcasting career. ‘I have seen real terror,’ he intones over scenes of rioting in South Africa, Northern Ireland and the Middle East. Ending with a close-up of Sir Trevor’s startlingly blue irises and the sales pitch: ‘Look after your eyes and your vision will last a lifetime.’ QUOTABLE Labour commentator Dan Hodges says an unnamed Labour bigwig told him the question faced by the demoralised party is: ‘Do we want another Tony Blair? Or do we want another Neil Kinnock?’ (Bookies’ favourite Andy Burnham is seen as another Kinnock while rival Liz Kendall is described as a Blairite.) Blair won his three general elections as leader; Kinnock lost both of his and said when Ed Miliband became leader: ‘We’ve got our party back.’ ACCORDING to royal sources, the Duke of York thinks he might be able to assist troubled FIFA, which is accused of being corrupt. Andrew enjoys football and regrets having to give up his presidency of the FA to make way for Prince William. He’s just bought a £13million chalet in Switzerland, where FIFA has its HQ. What view might he take about Qatar controversially winning the right to host the 2022 World Cup? Prince William joined David Cameron and David Beckham to lobby unsuccessfully for the UK. Andrew’s great chum happens to be Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad, Qatar’s Emir. ACTOR extraordinaire and gay activist Sir Ian McKellen, 76, describes his Six Degrees of Separation co-star Will Smith, 46, as ‘silly’ for refusing to kiss another man on screen even though it was in the script, telling Time Out: ‘Which is why, at a preview, I met him in public and gave him a great big kiss on the lips.’ I’m sure Smith was charmed!? THE Queen presided over the Gurkha Pageant at Chelsea’s Royal Hospital last night. Her affection for Nepal’s wee warriors is strong. There are Gurkha orderlies in her personal entourage, who are often seen at investiture ceremonies. ‘They are the only troops the diminutive monarch can look in the eye,’ explains a cheeky source.